clearskies, bluewater

Insights, reflections and creative imaginings for our awakening world

Category Archives: Death


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Life gives you what you need

“God doesn’t give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED, to help you , to hurt you , to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be…”– anonymous

Hello again, Dear Readers. This morning the sun is shining and the sky is blue overhead. There can be no denying that Spring has finally come to Denmark. Thank goodness.

Many thoughts are spinning around in my head today. I wish to try to write something cohesive but please bear with me if it comes out a bit of a mess. Guess my soul is in a process right now (is there ever a time when it isn’t?) If I had a life motto, it would be, Work in Progress.

Last night my husband and I watched a movie by the filmmaker Robert Altman, called Short Cuts. It was made twenty years ago. The story takes place around Los Angeles and Bakersfield, and is filled with many characters who are neurotic, dysfunctional, angry, lustful, bored, frustrated, and just trying to get by in this crazy life. There are stories within the larger story, and they are woven loosely together through their relationships to one another. There is much irony in this film, just as there is in life. It was a long story, three hours running. Within this time, we witness people living in the middle of modern life’s sicknesses and excesses, trying to cope with themselves and each other. All the large themes are present: love, jealousy, avarice, lust, deceit, vengeance, desperation, despair, death. People living lives of not so quiet desperation. We watch, helplessly, as the characters hurt one another, lying to each other and themselves, without much compassion. Few of them are innocent, and the one character who is blameless (the good wife and mother, played by Andie Macdowell) is rewarded by having her just-turning eight year old son get hit by a car, go into a coma, and die during the course of a couple of days. This film takes no prisoners, there is no redemption for these people; only the continuation (for most of them) of this endless, sometimes utterly senseless and absurd theatre we know as Life.

The film did what all good stories ought to do; it showed us ourselves in the rough, without gloss or soft lighting. Whatever else you can say about life in a human body, you can also say that, shortly put, we’ve got issues. We’ve ALL got them, there is no one walking the planet today who is immune. We are in turns small, scared, angry, frustrated, guilty, guilt-ridden, loving, sweet, selfish and selfless. We toil, endure endless drudgery and suffering of many fools, not the least of which is our own self. We suffer, and suffer some more. We make decisions out of need, desperation, and desire for relief. What helps, what heals?

Facing the trouble, whatever it is, is a help. Naming it, speaking it out loud, seeing that we are not, are never alone in it. No matter what the trouble is, no matter how ashamed or filled with pain and remorse we may be, we must remember that we are not alone, not the only one with that heartache. On the contrary, there are many others with that same wound, carrying that same pain as us. Rilke once wrote that ‘perhaps all the dragons of our lives are simply princesses who are waiting for us to see them for who they truly are.’ My interpretation of his words is that even the most dark and terrible secret that a person can hold is something to help us learn how to love, how to become more human. The holes in the heart of one can and are healed by sharing them with another. It is painful to share these, yes. It takes time, maybe many years, for the healing to happen. But it CAN happen, it does happen, the miraculous thing is that by sharing one’s wound with others, instead of hiding it away, the wound can be cleansed, dressed, cared for, attended to, healing balm applied, sunshine and fresh air given it until it becomes smaller and smaller, and finally is gone.

We all want healing. We all have wounds and broken places. We are all of us singing over the lost bones of our lives, singing them alive again, calling them back into being. Yes we have lost our way and forgotten totally who we actually are and where we come from. Anyone looking around at the current state of the world will readily agree with that. The question is, are we lost forever? Will we continue sleepwalking through our lives, unwilling to feel or see that others’ pain is equal or perhaps greater than our own? Will we succumb to our own feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, letting the weight of life’s cares crush our spirits and smash any small sprouts of hope?

sometimes all you can do is laugh....

sometimes all you can do is laugh….

There is no one solution to this problem of living, but there are wise ones who have found some tools to help. I have a slip of paper (one of many) at my desk that states, “Practice looking at each situation in your life and forgiving everyone and everything throughout this lifetime, and most especially, yourself.” This is ongoing, daily practice. And it makes good sense, because if I cannot forgive myself for the messes I have made and the hurts I have given to others, then how can they ever forgive me? We are our own judge and jury in this life, ultimately. As in the Robert Altman film, each of us is walking about trying to keep our heads above the swirling waters of insanity which are all around us. How can we cope, unless we begin with self-forgiveness? And after that, forgiveness of everyone else, as difficult as that may seem, is really essential. We cannot possibly change this world into something kinder, more loving and peaceful, as long as each of us still carries hatred, greed and revenge around in our souls. In the movie, there is a woman blues singer who sings at a jazz club every evening. One of the songs she sings talks about being a ‘prisoner of life.’ You could say that this idea is the main underlying theme of this film. It is so easy to feel this way! I have, a thousand times over, and have felt quite justified in doing so. And yet. I am realizing more and more, that if I am life’s prisoner it is because I myself have been my own jailer. Realizing this makes finding the key to unlock the door much easier.

In the end, it is true that Life gives you what you need to grow and become a better, not a worse, human being. In the kitchen last night, after the intense experience of watching the three-hour long film, my husband and I spoke together. He mused, “I actually suffer much more than you do, however I carry my suffering with a lot of dignity.” I gazed at him a moment, and then replied, “Yes, you certainly do. You really have a lot of dignity, and it is one of your most beautiful qualities.” He was pleased to hear my words, and I meant them sincerely. Carrying one’s suffering with dignity is extremely important. So is the ability to laugh at the craziness of this life.

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Awakening from the exhausting dream of duality

Hello again, dear Readers and Friends. The time is drawing very near now, and in just a few short days, the long and torturous age that humanity has been trudging through will be completed. Come Friday, December 21st, we will stand on the threshold of a new cycle for Earth and all of her inhabitants. Stars are moving, planets are shifting, untold beings are lining up all in preparation for this moment. Regardless of how each individual human responds to this event, it is MONUMENTAL. From all I have read and can understand about it, nothing quite like this moment has ever been experienced before on Earth: not Buddha’s enlightenment, not Jesus’s birth, life and death, because THIS MOMENT will be experienced by All of Us, simultaneously. Talk about AHA! Moments…..

After the 21st of December, Earth and Humanity will enter a new phase, cycle, or, yes, age. The simplest way to describe it is simply thus: We will from that moment forward, collectively live from a basis of Love. Fear will no longer have the power over humanity that it has had so much of during the past vast cycle of time. And in fact, our whole relationship to Time itself will shift in yet unknown and radical ways. These are VERY exciting times, Dear Readers!

Obviously the world as we know it now, with its huge problems and suffering, cannot possibly shift into some kind of paradise overnight. Perhaps some people would really like it to, and may even be naively thinking that it somehow will. But no, it has taken many years and a whole lot of effort to create our mess, and consequently it will also take time to clean up our world. But I am optimistic that clean it we shall! The disorder and chaos we find around us simply cannot, nor will not, last forever.

It is time for us all to do the serious work of envisioning the world we WISH to live in. Not simply for the next twelve months, as so many of us modern western folk tend to think about on New Years day. And not simply for our own personal life. No, it is time for every single one of us to start thinking on a GLOBAL level about our lives. We can no longer think, ‘oh the________, it is just so far away, I cannot possibly think about that!” Just fill in the blank with whatever land, place, people and habitat you want. It is time to think, and ponder deeply. I believe that most of the answers to our world’s problems are already here, available to us in seed form. Some amazingly intelligent, compassionate and tireless souls are alive now who have been working on solutions to our problems. THINK FREE ENERGY, folks!! Can you imagine for a moment, how radically and quickly our world would change if suddenly all the energy we used was freely available and clean? This is the kind of thinking I am encouraging us to develop now. What if, after this week, the oil companies were no longer necessary, but were to become obsolete? IT COULD HAPPEN. What if economies were based on the needs of all people, not on corporations’ bottom lines? IT COULD HAPPEN. What if all the guns and bombs were somehow sucked up into some giant vacuum cleaner above the earth, so that NOBODY had any of those horrible things anymore—not regular folk and not governments. IT COULD HAPPEN. What if, within a very short period of time, people (all the people, everywhere) started to feel safe to walk around in their streets, their towns, their countries, and also in other people’s countries? Better yet, what if we all decided that this idea of ‘our country’ and ‘your country’ just went by the wayside altogether, because we finally figured out that GUESS WHAT, we are All One People of Earth! Yup, that’s right: IT COULD HAPPEN!!!!

Tonight I am extremely tired from this work of transformation and holding the light for many others who are still in such darkness. But. I continue in spite of my exhaustion, because I can see that there is a light at the end of this long tunnel of darkness, and it is fast approaching. During these past weeks and days, I have been revisiting many old people and places from my life, and also been going to some quite interesting places during the dreamtime while my body sleeps. I can imagine that many of you are having similar experiences. There has been so much grief buried inside of my soul which I have been shedding. The news of the tragedy in Connecticut last week touched that deep well and I grieve with the ones who have lost their precious loved ones. Yet I also know that somehow there will be a great healing from it, more people will open their hearts because of this, it will somehow free people who are still imprisoned within their frozen hearts. Our hearts must unfreeze and be freed to love, plain and simple. The love that resides in each human heart is the key that unlocks this new cycle for us, and it is absolutely critically important that most everyone, yes all 6 something billion of us humans, are able to freely love each other and recognize the sacredness of each soul.

My own daily work now is to release judgement: release, let go, release some more. This is real work and takes an enormous amount of patience, both with others and with myself. The Buddhists, as it turns out, were right all along: release judgement, release attachment to a particular outcome, and simply be a loving person. That is the crux of the whole thing.

Dear Readers, forgive my lack of eloquence this evening. I wish all of you strength, courage, and blessings of love during these last days of the old world.

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The last free place on Earth

We are living in relentless times. The sheer amount and depth of the problems that humanity has created and are now facing is, at moments, absolutely overwhelming. We are assaulted on every side with stories which outrage and sadden us beyond words, beyond belief, utterly beyond reason. Insanity, it would appear, has taken firm grip of our collective and stubbornly refuses to let go.

Being a sensitive human, I have to be very careful as to how much news of the world I ingest, otherwise I can quickly become overcome with negativity and sorrow. This morning I read some articles posted in Yes! magazine online which have inflamed me. The first was reporting on the latest brutality by the Israeli government as they have sent U.S. made warplanes to assassinate a Hamas leader and destroy key parts of Gaza’s barely-functional infrastructure. The article states,

Israeli military and political leaders have long made clear that regular military attacks to “cleanse” Palestinian territories is part of their long-term strategic plan (the term was used by Israeli soldiers to describe their role in the Israeli assault on Gaza from 2008 to 2009). It is an interesting historical parallel that this escalation—which almost certainly portends a longer-term and even more lethal Israeli assault—takes place almost exactly four years after the last major Israeli war on Gaza that left 1,400 Gazans dead in 2008 to 2009.
This is primarily about Netanyanu shoring up the right-wing of his base. And once again it is Palestinians, this time Gazans, who will pay the price. The question that remains is whether the U.S.-assured impunity that Israel’s leadership has so long counted on will continue, or whether there will be enough pressure on the Obama administration and Congress so that this time, the U.S. will finally be forced to allow the international community to hold Israel accountable for this latest round of violations of international law. (read the full article here, http://www.yesmagazine.org/peace-justice/gaza-airstrikes-netanyahu-attempts-appease-israel-hardliners?utm_source=wkly20121116&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=titleBennis)

The second article I read concerns the very real threat of oil drilling in the Arctic. It is written by Kumi Naidoo, who is the current leader of Greenpeace, and he describes the situation as follows:

Global warming caused by our use of fossil fuels is already driving climate change and extreme weather events. From drought in South Africa to severe flooding in the Philippines to the devastation of Hurricane Sandy, our planet is sending us warnings that could not be clearer. And the Arctic ice is melting, reaching a record summer low this year.

Scientists see that as evidence that the climate is changing faster than anyone predicted. Big Oil sees it as an opportunity to exploit. International oil companies are hesitating over Arctic drilling because they see the huge technical risks of operating in such an extreme environment, but they also see the massive level of public opposition. Shell put its Alaska drilling program on hold for 2012 after part of its spill response equipment was damaged. International attention on the Arctic helped force this decision, because Shell knew that millions of people were watching their every move.

This battle requires us to value hope and science above pessimism and the relentless greed of Big Oil. While Greenpeace will continue to fight in boardrooms, gas stations, and on the ocean itself, we are part of a broader movement that needs your creativity, ideas, and energy.

You don’t have to climb an oil platform to help. You already know what to do—bike to work or use public transportation, and pressure your local politicians to adopt policies that curb the use of fossil fuels and support renewable energy. Protecting the Arctic is one of the environmental battles that will define humanity’s approach to climate change. Do we allow billionaire corporations to decide for us, or do we draw a line in the ice and say “enough”? (http://www.yesmagazine.org/issues/what-would-nature-do/greenpeaces-kumi-naidoo-time-to-stand-against-big-oil-in-the-arctic?utm_source=wkly20121116&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=titleNaidoo)

After reading this article, I went to the Greenpeace website www.savethearctic.org for more information. Here is what I found there:

There are seven billion of us on our planet. Each and every one of us is affected by the health of the Arctic: by reflecting the sun’s rays off its ice, the Arctic shapes our weather patterns and the food we grow and eat.

But the Arctic is the frontline of our warming climate – heating up twice as fast as anywhere else. It’s also the frontline of the oil industry – one of the dirty, dead fuels responsible for the melting in the first place.

By stopping the new oil rush in the Arctic we are creating the conditions for a radical change in how we power our lives, accelerating the clean energy revolution that will fuel the future for our children.

We know we’re going up against the most powerful countries and companies in the world.

But together we have something stronger than any country’s military or any company’s budget. Our shared concern for the planet we leave our children transcends all the borders that divide us and makes us – together – the most powerful force today.

That is why we’re taking your name – and millions of others – to the North Pole with a Flag for the Future designed by the youth of the world. It will show that our shared vision of a green, peaceful, healthy planet depends on an Arctic protected by us all.

But the flag is only a symbol. We’ll be taking your voice to every political leader in the world to ask them where they stand on the Arctic. One by one, as our movement gathers momentum, we’ll turn towards the United Nations, where we’ll demand a global deal to protect the Arctic.

30 years ago we launched a similar campaign to protect the Antarctic. Nobody thought we would succeed, but we did, and we created a world park around the South Pole.

Now the Arctic is calling.

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No country owns the Arctic. It is, in Naidoo’s words, the refrigerator of the earth, and regulates weather patterns across the earth. It is a fragile environment, home of some of the last pristine wilderness on the planet. Think for a moment of what the effects will be if the oil companies bring their oil rigs and equipment up to the top of the world and begin drilling for yet more oil so they can continue to create yet more billions of dollars for themselves in profits. The insanity and greed of this plan is beyond words, it is unspeakable in its intention of pure destruction of all that humanity holds dearest. I ask all of you, dear Readers, how can we allow them to destroy the last free and clean place on Earth?

Look around you this very day, no matter what area of the earth you are living in. Is your lifestyle, and the community in which you live, worth destroying some of the most beautiful, untouched nature left on Earth? Isn’t it FINALLY time to stand up to Shell, Exxon, British Petroleum and all the rest, and simply say, “No Thanks, we are through with this kind of life. We are choosing a new way to live, which is no longer dependent on fossil fuels, we will no longer support your greed and hunger for destruction.” The technology exists right now in the world to move beyond fossil fuels and use free energy instead. It is not a myth, it is REAL. And we, The People, have the power to say No More. Think how much money those guys would lose if the majority (say over 50%) of Americans stopped using their cars for even ONE DAY in America. ONE DAY, 24 hours. Suddenly over 150 million people would not be driving. There is no doubt they would notice.

It is  far too easy to feel powerless in this world. To feel afraid. To feel that the problems are too overwhelming, I am too small, it is too much, and there is nothing I can do. So I will just climb back into my bed and pull the sheets over my head, and go to sleep and drink myself into a stupor and zone out with mindless entertainment of every sort, and try to forget all the problems. Many of us have done exactly this for far too long. The results of this sort of non-action are everywhere to be seen. It is high time for the majority of the western world to wake up, get out of their beds, turn off their mindless entertainments, and start shouting. We need to make a big big noise, big enough to be heard over the roaring of the oil companies’ monstrous equipment. Together, The People are far greater and far stronger than the beings who have been abusing their position of power all these long years.

Dear Readers, I encourage every single one of you to think about it today. Look at the website, read up on the Arctic, find out for yourselves, get angry, talk with your friends and neighbors, educate them, and stop driving your cars at least one day a week. Do anything, but for the Earth’s sake, Do SOMETHING. It is time.

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Secret hopes and wishes

Remember the old story about the genie in the bottle, who gives three wishes to the lucky human who lets it go free? If you found that bottle by the side of the road, uncorked it and Poof, out popped the genie to grant your wishes, what would you do? Do you even know of three genuine wishes you would like to ask him for?

Dear Readers, I realize as I write this what a loaded question it actually is. It’s not even a fair question, because I know that it is more or less impossible to name just three (that magic number) things, out of a whole world full of things you would like to be different in this life! So, to make this little game a bit easier to play, let’s put some limits on what we are wishing for. World peace is out, along with no more war and everybody being happy all the time. After all, most everybody (I know, not everyone!) would want those things. Let’s go back to my original idea, that of secret wishes, something you hope for but wouldn’t dare to tell another for fear of…(fill in the blank here.)

I’ll start, since you are after all reading my blog. One thing I would wish for is to be given the power of time travel, but with the added plus of being able to transcend time altogether, so that I could literally be in more than one place at the same time. Not quite sure how that would work, exactly, but wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to be enjoying time spent with loved ones in one location on the planet, while simultaneously taking a quiet walk in the woods by yourself somewhere else? In a way it would be similar to when you are asleep and dreaming, except that you would be conscious of everything, and would remember it later on (so difficult to do with dreams, I’m afraid).

Another secret wish I have (well, guess it won’t be so secret after tonight) is to be able to fix things, places, and yes, people, who are broken. Now, I know what some of you are thinking, oh no, she is another one of those super-annoying-wanna-help-everybody types, eek, run away quick!– but really, I think it would be so wonderful to be like the character Amelie in that very charming French film, and go around helping blind people to see, and mend broken hearts, heal crippled people and animals, give sad children their smiles and laughter back, make dumps into beautiful gardens, toxic waste sites into clean, healthy living places again, that sort of thing. And easily, just with a thought and intention, not years of back-breaking labor and huge amounts of cash, but more like having a kind of magic wand power….

Then there’s the very vain wish about wanting to never grow old and look old and become decrepit and die…. yeah, guess a few of us might secretly covet that one…. then of course there are all the ‘wish I could’ve been a (fill-in-the-blank again) wishes….. lots and lots of those milling around in the attic of my memory.

Dear Readers, I think I have backed myself into a corner here on this blog tonight. If I share my deepest secret wishes with you, then they won’t be secret anymore.  I guess I am not quite feeling ready, ascended enough or whatever else, to go quite that far… yet. So I will move on to something else to muse upon, something altogether different.

Today the weather was as changeable as my mood. Because I live up here at the top of Europe, on a big island, the weather can change very quickly. It was a beautiful, sunny, clear morning here, a perfect, chilly late October day. So I went out walking, at first along the motorway, then turned off onto a country road, enjoying the brilliant sunshine, green fields of winter grass, feeling peaceful and calm. Once I entered the forest, I became even quieter, listening to all the creatures who lived there. The woods are also home to a good-sized pheasant flock, and they appeared now and then, running across the path, calling to each other in their strange, gobbly sort of language. The leaves crunched under my feet, the scent of the forest was delightfully damp and alive, the yellows, browns and oranges of leaves and mushrooms filling my sight with beauty. Eventually I found a lovely spot off the lane in a young grove of beech trees, and rested there, meditated, asking the spiritual world for help and guidance. Before too long, however, the clouds came and covered up the beautiful sun, bringing rain, and then sleet to accompany me on my walk home. At one point I looked down to the side of the road and found a pheasant, a male, dead not more than several hours. I stopped and had a closer look. Pheasants are a new phenomenon in my world, having never lived in an area where they were common before now. The pheasant was quite beautiful, with a red and black head, neck and breast covered with gorgeous shades of cobalt, violet and auburn colored feathers, and of course its famous, long, painted tail feathers. Impulsively, I found a stick and worked to pry loose a few of those precious feathers for later use in some creative project, I reasoned. As I worked to loosen them from the body, I saw some of its raw flesh peeking out from beneath the feathers, and couldn’t help but imagine how wonderful that bird would be plucked and roasted for dinner! Thanking the bird for letting me have them, I packed the feathers in a plastic bag, carefully placed it in my rucksack, and went along home in the wet afternoon.

Death is always among us, even though most of us don’t think about this fact too often. When it shows up, like this afternoon on the side of the road, it never fails to shock. And fascinate– the pheasant was so beautiful in its death mask, all of its feathers lying so prettily upon its dead body. Perennial wisdom says that what we call death is simply a change of form, from one state of being to the next; nothing is ever really lost, it only seems that way in this illusion we call Life. It is a powerful illusion, is it not? When I think of dying, I admit I feel sad, and don’t want to do it. As I stood in the forest, inside a ring of beech trees, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with the beauty surrounding me on all sides, felt such love and gratitude for this earth which gives all who live upon it so immensely much in every moment. I will hate to leave this planet when my number is up, will miss the forest and the rivers, the sky and the wind, the animals, all of the wonders of this place. I can only hope (my not so secret hope) that the next world that we go on to inhabit, somewhere in another realm among the stars, is at least as beautiful and glorious as this one.

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In the thick of it

Thanks to those of you who liked and commented upon last evening’s blog post about the upcoming election and the general mess that the United States is now in. My blogger friend Visionkeeper went into some details concerning this sorry situation, and told me that she (though I STILL do not know for sure!) has pretty much given up on being with other humans in the area and is simply being a hermit on her land, only communicating with like-minded others through the internet as things unfold, until the world changes dramatically. This comment has given me pause for thought tonight.

Those of you who have read this blog for some time can see that I would never call myself a religious person. Especially given the connotations of the word these days, charged with ideas of fanaticism and extreme right-wing conservative energy. So religious I am not. Yet, I absolutely know that I, along with all the rest of us humans, answer to a higher power. I don’t have a problem with the term ‘God’ although I tend to not use it in my blogs because I know that some people really dislike the term and associate it with old, bad, maybe even traumatic, memories. Same thing with that old book, The Bible. What an abused book that is! At this point in history, it is very difficult to separate the truth from the lies and fabricated stories and meanings surrounding it. And yet. There are some images, and snippets, from the Bible that simply keep popping up these days, out of the clear blue.

One has to do with the idea that ‘during those days” families will be separated, children from parents, brother from sister, and some will follow the light,(may I say it thus,) while others will be left behind. Then there is the imagery which speaks to the famous “last days,” with the sign of the beast, and the prostitute, people throwing their money in the streets because it has become so worthless, etc…. some of you may remember these images also. Remember, I am not by any means, a religious fanatic. But I cannot help but notice that some of these images, prophesied all those many centuries ago, seem to have some relevance about now. Funny, isn’t it?

It does seem to be quite true for many of us, that were we to speak about the things we are aware of and are reading about which are happening in the world with our colleagues, or neighbors, or even other family members, they would very likely look at us as if we are off our rockers. As time goes by during this extraordinary year, I am becoming braver and braver about mentioning certain things to others. Unfortunately, nearly nobody seems to have a clue what I am speaking about, or else they blow me off and come up with all sorts of reasons why ‘that’ is impossible, or even worse, patronize me.

I have a lot of sympathy for Visionkeeper and her strategy of staying out of the mainstream of life in her part of the world. It is frustrating to feel that you see things clearly, yet cannot speak of those things with the people you work and live with each day. I imagine that Visionkeeper lives alone out on her land, which of course makes it easy in many ways. Since I do not, I have developed a different strategy for coping, where I go inside of myself and so no matter who else may be physically present, I can still accomplish a similar end; being by myself in order to be quiet, process my thoughts, and take in the latest information about, well, Things.

Still, it certainly gets lonely around here pretty often. Today I went to the school to do some volunteer English teaching again. When I asked another teacher, a nice Danish woman whom I like quite a lot, how she had been, her answer, AGAIN, was, “tired!”  I smiled and nodded, “me too.” So many are tired, and the children are feeling the changes as well in their own ways; through unnatural fears, a lot of anxiety, tiredness, sadness, anger, and the like. I spent most of one period reading a simple and funny children’s story with one girl, Alberta, who, I was told, was feeling quite bad and scared in the morning before I came. That’s all we did, but she seemed to feel better afterwards. So did I.

Walking home through the field, the wind blowing against me from the north, I didn’t think too much. Not about the election, not about the state of America, not about all the unfairness and corruption, not about pain or suffering, stupidity or sleepwalking. So many difficult and worrisome things I didn’t think about today. And this afternoon I worked some more on a paper mache sculpture that has been languishing for a week. At first I had to make myself sit down and do it, but once I started, I had a blessedly joyous hour of solitude, making art and forgetting about all the troubles.

Dear Readers, by now I think of some of you as dear friends, and comrades in this big work we have taken on of creating a new world from the still-burning embers of the old one. Outside the moon is shining brightly above the wind-tossed trees on this late October evening. The veils are thinning ever-more, it is nearly All Hallows’ Eve, or Day of the Dead. The spirits are all around us, no longer simply in our imaginations, but very much alive and present, talking to us every day in hundreds of ways. Can you not also feel them surrounding you, helping, advising, comforting and encouraging you each day, cheering you on when you are so weary that you feel you cannot take another step of this journey, wondering if it will ever end, will things ever change, will the dark powers ever be vanquished finally and forever more, or will they just keep on going, wreaking havoc and violence and horrors on humanity for god-only-knows-how much longer. I imagine that nearly all the soldiers who fought in wars against evil dictatorships, emperors, cabals and warlords from time immemorial, felt exactly the same, wondered if the bloody war would ever end or if they would be stuck in that hell forever more. And then, miraculously and suddenly, one day: the white flag rose, the white dove flew, the bombs stopped dropping, the guns stopped shooting, the arrows stopped flying, the blood stopped flowing, the suffering ended. All of a sudden the battle was over, and the war was done. Peace. And silence. Prayers. And thanksgiving.

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The beginning, the end, life, death and beyond

It is not often that a work of art comes along which has the ability to encompass the whole range of human experience: beauty, suffering, life, death and the mysterious beyond. Today I have finally finished reading Ben Okri’s epic work, Starbook. This book is such a work of art.

In fact the story itself centers around a tribe of artists who make incredible, magical and mysterious art. Art is their reason for existence, their life’s work, and everything in their lives revolves around it. It is the story of a prince, a maiden with whom he falls in love, and the story of a people, a kingdom, of the past and future, of humans on earth and of beings from the stars. It is a vast metaphor, a fable, an epic, an odyssey, a dream, a version of history and a prayer for the future. Starbook is Okri’s homage to the Christ story and the story of the Buddha, while also being his own uniquely creative vision of his homeland and its vast people in Africa. This is a master’s work.

As so many of us have, I too have been going through a kind of transformation during these last months. Today and this weekend seems to be another pinnacle of time, devoted to inwardly seeking, listening, opening to the voices and whispers of our spirit, a doorway into the beyond which lies above this earthly realm of suffering and pain which we have all lived in and with for so long that many have forgotten that there is another way to be alive. Yet the clear directive coming to us collectively right now, is exactly that: there is another way to experience life in human form, a way beyond all the unendurable suffering we have inflicted upon each other and ourselves all these many centuries. Okri’s insightful retelling of the human story brought me near tears throughout reading it, and yet simultaneously also helped me to somehow distance my heart from the pain of it, as all great cathartic works tend to do. For his story, although set in Africa, is not merely the story of the loss of innocence and the influence of the western world upon that land, bringing slavery and horrific conditions to an entire race of people. It is the story of human bondage, death and redemption, as old as anyone can recall.

As I contemplate life on this special October weekend of 2012, I wish to acknowledge and honor the immense struggle which humans have endured over the course of our known history, sensing that only by honoring and remembering what has come before, can we fully release and forgive our collective memory and thereby move ahead towards a different future that so many of us are waking up to now. Okri says that Africa lives in all of us, and in a very real way he is absolutely right. We are all tribal peoples from somewhere in the world, some distant (or not so distant) past, with many many stories underneath us as we stand upon our piece of Earth right now, today. Time is fast becoming non-linear and some say that the day will soon come when linear time becomes a thing of the past. Our common experience of past, present and future will be vastly different than how we experience it now. All the more reason to honor, remember, and change the past as well as the future.

If I may, dear Readers, I would like to share a tiny glimpse of the future that I would like to live upon this beloved Earth. In this new future, everyone is an artist. There is no longer a differentiation between those who are and those who are not. No matter what one’s interest, the things they spend time doing are their art form. Everyone cares for everything, no matter how small, how inconsequential it may be. From the lowest to the highest in the world, all is made beautiful through love and care. In this future world of Earth, there are only two laws: Love and Kindness. Creativity of every kind flourishes, nature is more abundant and richer than ever before, and humans live in perfect harmony with the natural world, including all the animals. There is no more killing of living beings.

In this new future Earth, the wisest humans are the ones who make the decisions that affect all others. Purity of heart and generosity are the most desirable qualities in a human being. Competition has long ceased to be desirable, and the ancient arts are again understood and practiced. The gods, or beings from other realms than Earth, have again been given their rightful place of respect and reverence by the humans, and they work together to create all sorts of new ways of being and doing things, things we right now cannot even possibly imagine can be. It goes without saying that peace has been utterly restored to all living on the Earth.

One of the most beautiful passages in Starbook refers to a sculpture which the master artist of the tribe creates, his last and most magnificent creation. It is described thus:

“And what was it, this mysterious sculpture? It was more than it seemed. And its mystery was as much in how it created a shimmer of illuminations around itself, against the sky, as it was the spirit-charged nature of the stone, as it was that of which it was an eternal sigh, a question mark without a name, concentrating the magic of the heavens into the illusion of space. It was the figure of a being, a man or woman or god or goddess or dream; and the figure stood with both of its arms stretched out unnaturally wide, embracing the whole universe, in a mighty act of acceptance. Arms outstretched and legs spread out wide, doubly embracing all of life, the universe, all suffering, all joy, the beginning, the end, life, death and beyond……”

Isn’t this precisely what we must all do now, to embrace all of life, the universe, all suffering and joy, the beginning, the end, life, death and what lies beyond? This is such a beautiful summation of our goal, our purpose, our common future of humanity. To stand with arms and legs wide open upon this glorious, magnificent earth, to embrace our humanity, our groundedness, our deep soul, as well as our soaring, dreaming spirit selves among the starry world? We are becoming multi-dimensional beings like never before, whether we understand it or not matters little. It is what is happening to us, right now! How I wish I could just be like a fairy, or an insect, or a dream, and go from one human to the next, waking them from their slumber, their forgetting of the truth of their being, giving them the magic potion to make them all understand who we all of us Really ARE!

I wish to thank Ben Okri for his amazing Starbook, and all the wisdom contained therein. I hope that many more people will find and read this story, and find it as enlightening, illuminating, and enduring as I have. And I hope that all of you will continue to dream into the future that you wish to have, not only for yourselves, your children, your community and country, but for all of us, all the tribes and cultures and species of this incredible, gorgeous, and wonderful planet Earth.

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Awakening from dreams and nightmares

There is a little figure sitting by my computer, a kind of sculpture which I made some months ago. It is of a human form, whose face wears an inscrutable expression. His eyes appear to be closed, his arms are wide open, and he is suspended from an empty bottle which holds him up. Tonight this sculpture is showing me a part of myself, the part which is dreaming, unsure of what is real and what is illusion. To be perfectly honest, I am no longer quite sure which is which.

In the past month or more, I have been fascinated with the story of Alice in Wonderland, as well as immersing myself in Ben Okri’s wonderous imaginations. (as I am sure you, dear Readers, are well aware, having been reading this blog!) Once Alice falls down the White Rabbit’s hole, her reality is changed immeasurably. I guess I am having a kind of Wonderland experience these days, walking around in a world where things are no longer simply how they seem, where magical beings appear from out of nowhere, and where things which once seemed so solid and normal have become less and less so.

Okri’s intricate and vast story, Starbook, is having some kind of transformative effect on my soul, in ways that are difficult to describe in words. It is one of the most unusual books I have ever read, working as it does on different levels of my consciousness. Without going on and on about it, I can say that his writing is somehow shifting how I experience life, imperceptively and yet definitively. Then there are the blogs. Several of them bring me, along with all the other people who read them, daily doses of a very particular kind of energy, akin to taking a powerful course of homeopathic medicine designed to subtly and substantially alter our minds and hearts. I am stating for the record, it is working.

This week here in Denmark the schools have Autumn Holidays, so I have been free to take long walks, sleep and dream a lot, read, and generally ponder the current state of humanity. As I am sure you are all well aware, there is a whole lot to ponder. Like something I read a day or so ago. In that particular post, there was the statement that due to so many people’s beginning ascension to higher consciousness, humanity will no longer need to keep reincarnating from lifetime to lifetime, we instead are now in a new process whereby we are basically ‘doing it as we go’ a kind of DIY assessment and forgiveness process. If I read this blog correctly, they are saying that as we leave third dimensionality, we develop the ability to self-correct our former karmic trespasses through remembrance and forgiveness (of the other and of ourselves) and therefore will no longer need to physically die, go through whatever we go through in the spiritual realms, and then re-incarnate into a different physical form in order to learn from and remedy our karma. Uh huh, that is really what some are saying is part of this new ‘reality’ for lack of a better term.

The implications of this one thing alone are staggering! It is just one example of the times we are living in, where nearly all the old rules no longer apply, like we are collectively deciding to throw out the old game we were all playing together, and at the same time, make up a new one with all new rules. Except that there are nearly NONE in the new game, because once you throw out the old, you find out that we were all just making it up anyway, and you realize that you don’t really need any of those stupid rules after all. Out with karma! Forget having to die and then be born lifetime after staggering lifetime. Forget all the stuff you learned from your parents as a dutiful (or rebelled against being one) child. Forget all that old crap you learned in Sunday school. Forget about rotting in hell, that was all made up! You name it: Duality, Good vs. Evil, Black and White, Us and Them, I and the Other, whatever names you give it, It (meaning the illusion) is going away. Fast.

So now what? Now that our little illusion game which we have been playing all these eons, apparently, is nearly over, what is next? What are we going to do now that the game is done, the illusion is gone, the veils have been taken down, and there is only a blank canvas staring back at each one of us?

Space. The Final Frontier. Those of us who know these words, (and the little tune which accompanies them) know that it is a HUGE statement. Now what? Now that we are no longer fast asleep, no longer part of this collective dream -nightmare we have been in for so long, now that we are waking up to a whole different reality, what are we going to do, to think, to create, to be?

Maybe it is a little bit like when a prisoner who has been in jail for many years, finally gets his freedom. He is given a few basics, some new clothes, a handshake maybe, and then the doors are opened, and he walks through. He has his freedom, but he has absolutely no idea what to do with himself. He was in captivity for so long, so used to how familiar it was, even in its misery, that once freed, he is quite lost. It takes time, sometimes a long time, to adjust to being free.

So it is with us, perhaps? The shock of the huge changes we are experiencing is hitting me full on, and along with the excitement of the idea of freedom from karma, from bondage, from illusory lifetimes, is a real terror of what lies ahead. Especially since no one who is alive in human form today has any idea of what life will actually be like without the illusions. (Well, okay, maybe some intense gurus and wise men and women living in remote areas of the earth do, but…) Point is, nearly all of us are facing the blank canvas. We know we can’t paint old pictures anymore, the old stuff is gone. It is totally new.

My dear friend, Dr. David Banner, sent me a wonderful Youtube video today. It is called Awakening 2012: a message of hope  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H7rk1rfp7c&feature=related)

I watched it this morning, and its message touched my heart deeply. If any of you, dear Readers, have about 25 minutes free, I highly recommend watching it. My favorite part was when people stood in a line and held hands, and as the line grew wider and wider, one could imagine this line of humans holding hands all around the planet!

I made a new blogging friend today. His name is Ascerio, and he kindly shared a poem with me. I think it is beautiful, and so I hope he doesn’t mind that I share it with all of you. Because we all need to take the time to see what there is to see.

My eyes paint my world in the colors of my heart
My dreams and my visions have become a work of art
All that is inside me turns to everything I see
I am you, you are me
Let me see

My fears and my judgments become children spouse and friend
All I think is real is merely what’s inside of me
Everything’s a lesson, freedom in humility
I am you, you are me
Let me see

Life’s a house of mirrors the creator paints through me
When I accept all others I accept that part in me
The beauty of my spirit is who I want to be
I am you, you are me
Let me see
I am you, you are me
Let me see

–Ascerio

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When there is nothing to rely on but faith in the process

Hi again, dear Readers. For the past several days now, each time I have sat down to write a blog, I have come up curiously empty. So many thoughts and impressions course through me within the space of a day, yet so fleeting are they that by the time I try to write something coherent, it has been nearly impossible. Now I try yet again, in hopes that something intelligible will get through the static.

Tonight I give you this quite amazing painting, which I found on one of Clare Flourish’s recent posts. (http://clareflourish.wordpress.com/2012/08/02/saint-michael/)

 

It is called Michael defeating the fallen angels, by a Renaissance painter named Giordano. For days I have been fascinated with this image. It seems to symbolize much of what I, and I believe many others, are experiencing right now. This painting is a metaphor of the inner soul as it struggles to overcome the demons which threaten to overtake it. The dark, shadowy parts of the soul are what has absorbed our traumas, our pain, our egoism, our pride. We do not like to believe that we have such darkness inside of us, that we are each capable of truly terrible things if push came to shove, and yet during this summer and autumn (and I guess until something amazing happens in human consciousness to shift us all en masse into a fully higher state of evolution), it is about exactly this darkness coming up into our consciousness in order to see the light of day and be seen by us so that we can deal with it.

These are not exactly easy times to skate through, dear Readers. I don’t know about you, but speaking for myself I have been awash in all sorts of emotional states during this summer, and have re-experienced flashes of old memories from all decades of my life. In addition, I have felt major discomfort in my body, strange symptoms of pain and soreness, which at times has me wondering if I am not long for this world. And yet. I do not actually think I am soon destined for the next world, but more that my body is releasing old (perhaps from-previous-lifetimes old,) traumas and painful memories so that I can finally (glory hallelujah) release them altogether. I have been reading various messages from various beings through several people’s blogsites, and they are all saying things similar to this:

Light frequencies are now amplified to assist in the purging, clearing, healing and releasing of old wounds, cellular memories and false beliefs as well as assisting the physical/etheric body to regenerate and heal itself. The energy of the eighth ray is primarily about the breaking up of old, outdated belief systems and structures, to create form through the rebirth of new energies and beliefs and the experience of Divine Love. In so doing, we transcend our dualities through the “sacred flame of transcendence” and in detachment and Self Mastery, come into a deeper experience of One Unity Consciousness. (www.pleiadianlight.net)

Throughout the ages, there have been systems of knowledge that were given to those who sought the truth of who they were and their purpose for being upon the Earth. This knowledge is now being given freely to all who are ready to receive it and great strides in the Awakening of Humanity are being made. Every moment of every day, the changes that are occurring upon and around your Planet take place and they are now so numerous that the mind boggles trying to fathom the mystery and wonder of it all. Humanity is not lost; it is in the process of finding out more about the reason for its existence and as each puzzle piece fits into place, more questions are being answered and truths given. You will find that each day the changes within you are taking place in a rapid manner and will find yourselves feeling more vitality, clarity and empowerment as the weeks and months continue. Whatever is still left within you that must be released will come up for review, understanding and transmutation into Light. All that was of lower density must be eliminated from every cell of your Being and there is no escape except through this purification process. (http://2012indyinfo.com/2012/08/12/hilarion-2012-the-rainbow-scribe-august-12-18-2012)

Now some of you may be scratching your heads, and wondering what all of this is really about? Or worse, you may be thinking that I have gone off the deep end entirely, fallen straight into the rainbow-colored hole of Newage Central and you want nothing to do with ‘them.’ But wait, before you go forever, dear Readers, I implore you to keep an open mind, for a few more minutes of your valuable time. If you have been following my blog for a while, you know that I am actually a pretty rational person, who ponders life and its meaning. I strive to not be too skeptical, and keep an open mind when presented with this kind of information. I have been reading a blog by VisionKeeper, which has actually given me quite a bit of encouragement and comfort lately. Here is what I commented to VK recently, after one of their posts about their frustration with how asleep most people seem to be concerning all that is actually happening on earth right now: (http://oneworldrising.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/bring-your-light-to-the-darkness/)
I feel in my bones that you write the truth here… yet a part of me simply resists and does not want to accept the good vs. evil battle of Armageddon… it all sounds so Book of Revelationish, reminds me of the Jehovah’s witnesses I associated with so many long years ago when I was young and very naive. So there also is a battle which goes on inside myself. I feel myself to be a person who is awake to what is happening, but I also do not wish to be put into a box and labelled ‘new age weirdo’ or something. So I am careful with my own blog as to what I post and how I say things. I do not want to support and advocate dogma of any kind, I simply wish to, like you, be someone who works to awaken others.
I agree, just sitting at the computer screen day after day, hoping my feeble words will be read by ‘the ones who really need to hear it” and not just singing to the choir, is simply not enough. It’s like how Noah must have felt, building the ark and trying to let the people know that something terrible was going to happen… and most everyone just laughed and ignored him. then, it was too late. I get so terribly tired of being here in this sorry world with all its troubles…I think of the people whom I love so dearly,  all the people, the children, the animals, all the lovely nature on this beautiful earth, and I just want to weep. What can we do in the face of such evil, there just is no other word to describe what those in power are doing all around the planet. It is difficult to keep my chin up and keep hope in a better future. Yet I know this is what I must do.
How to awaken the sleeping, the ones who are totally unaware that there is anything really seriously wrong, the ones who say the global warming is a hoax, the ones who support the politicians who are working for the ones who have an agenda of power, greed and enslavement? God I wish I knew. Our society is so unbelievably fractured into so many individual bits, it’s amazing that any of us agree about anything. Where is sanity? I question my own, often.

VisionKeeper’s reply to me was along the lines of:
You cannot be afraid of labels SB!! Have courage to be who you are despite what others think! Those days are gone. You don’t want to be around people who judge anyway. That is 3rd dimension old crap. We are moving on to the new world where people care and respect and love each other, no judgments! Don’t ever be afraid to be who you are. That will just hold you back from moving forward.

I am taking VisionKeeper’s words to heart. The conclusion I have now come to, after months (okay, years) of conversations and reading, combined with my own personal introspection and awareness of things, is that it seems to be true that we human beings truly ARE changing in a fundamental way and becoming fifth dimensional beings. What this actually means, I cannot with confidence say for sure. But at the least, it means that we are learning to live, to function; to move, think and feel in a whole new way than before. I think it must mean that the old rules no longer apply. That our old ways of thinking and doing in life no longer work. If we are changing from the inside out, then we have to learn to adapt, to learn new rules. I have read it is as if we are in the process of uploading a new operating system within our cellular structure; our actual DNA is changing. It is fantastic, it is so Star Trek or whatever, and yet, it seems to be the case. Nothing we can do about it except ‘do the upgrade.’ We cannot stay in the old system, just like our old, outdated PCs from ten years ago, the old ways no longer function.

“Evolve or leave” is the basic motto of Now. Of course there are many humans who are leaving, they are dying to the earth and moving on to another realm. But for those of us who are still here, the main thing we must do now is to Let Go of the Old. The Dark. The Outworn. The No-Longer-Serves. The Old You. The Old Me.

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Yes, this is what is urgently being called for now. The letting go of what we used to know, how we used to be with each other. It simply does not work anymore! To be judging. To be arrogant. To be mud-slinging. To be hateful. To be petty. To be fearful. To hold on. No,we can no longer hold on, because what I am beginning to really understand now is that there simply is NOTHING to hold onto any longer. Not our homes, our town, our government, our old beliefs about how the world is (or was) our monetary systems, our prejudices, our arrogance, our righteousness. All of this is changing, hopefully, for the better. I am not one of those who wants to simply chant “Peace and Love” thinking that is enough, or that is all we need to do. This is a complicated business, this life we share. There is much more to it than simplistic slogans, we all know that. I personally think that there is much more to life than to simply want to be ‘happy.’ Happiness alone is vastly overrated. It’s not about that, nor about having things, no. Life is about EXPERIENCING it, as consciously and deliberately as possible. With as much compassion and heart as you can muster. Every day, every hour, every minute, even. But muster we must.

With this post tonight, I am doing it: I am finding my courage and taking the leap to define what I believe is happening, and letting you decide for yourselves. If you think I am a Newage Nutcase, then So Be It. I will end with a snippet of a beautiful prayer I also have found in the past couple of days:
“I love the Light more than anything else in the world and I know that Your Light is all Wisdom, Love and Power within me and in all my experiences in my outer world. I take my stand in the Light for I AM THE LIGHT. And I am so grateful.”

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Vampire novels and one version of the Top 10 novels of the past twenty years

What a curious thing it is to be a blogger, and a writer (are they one and the same, or not, one wonders?). Yesterday was a weird day, emotions ran through me like water pouring through a drainpipe until at last I was so exhausted that all I could do was to sit and read through many of the blogs I have not kept up with for the past week. Which was tiring in itself; after two hours of reading some of your blog posts, dear Readers, I was in fullblown Overwhelm. Now it is a quiet, rainy Sunday morning outside my window. A grey and white cat sits on a green porch chair in the garden, cleaning its paws, then wanders away to find new cat adventures. Yesterday so many thoughts appeared in my mind, for blog posts, for sections of my languishing novel, such elucidation, yet I could not bring myself to write any words at all.
I have been giving some thought to the idea of Story lately. What makes a good story, one that others will want to read? But one that the writer herself wants to tell, that burns to get out of the soul and onto the page.

I spent some minutes in a Danish bookstore the other day, perusing the titles. As you can imagine, the majority of novels in Denmark are translated into Danish from the original language. Of course, here, as everywhere in the western world (which seems to be only growing larger and stronger, like an invasive weed, like garlic mustard on the roadsides) people are reading more or less the same stuff: vampire stories, fantasy, and of course, crime fiction is really huge around here, with quite a few Scandinavian authorDescription unavailables getting top shelfspace. Here is a list of titles of some of the most popular novels published within this past year or so, according to GoodReads:

Fifty Shades Freed, The Fault in Our Stars, Insurgent, Crossed, City of Lost Souls, Gone Girl, Cinder, Pandemonium, Lover Avenged, I’ve Got Your Number, Lover Mine, Deadlocked, The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight, Defending Jacob, Shadowfever, Bitterblue, Rapture, Reached, Stargazer, Under the Never Sky, Lone Wolf, The Selection, Everneath, Grave Mercy, The Snow Child, Shadow of Night, The Golden Lily, Incarnate, Lover Reborn, The Girl of Fire and Thorns, Hallowed, etc, etc, etc…..

Back to the bookstore shelves. I picked up one book, prominently displayed, with a cover photo showing a nicely built young man, his head raised high to heaven, arms outstretched, in a nearly crucified pose sans the cross. Curious, I read a bit of the back (in Danish, of course). It described a seventeen year old boy whose life was ‘deadboring’ until one day, a bizarre incident happens which changes him forever…. I ponder this newest phenomena in popular novels, that of your ordinary Joe or Jenny, tired of sitting at home bored out of their young minds, suddenly either meeting, or somehow being turned into, a super being of one kind or another. I suppose it is not an entirely new story, more like the 2012 version of Superman and Batman comics from the 40′s. Or something.

Now onto a different Best Of Fiction list. From a blog I just found, listserve.com, http://listverse.com/2010/10/10/top-10-best-novels-of-the-last-20-years/ comes this blogger’s picks of the best 10 novels written in the last 20 years. He or she writes,

“The ten novels on this list all substantiate the belief that books are the most elastic, introspective, human and entertaining form of media that exist. Not movies, not music, not art, not the theatre. A famous author once said that novels are the best way for two human beings to connect with each other. I believe this, and I believe that people who do not find pleasure in words have never had the opportunity to read one of the great novels. So, here I will present the ten greatest novels of the last twenty years, without apologies.”

Music for torching, A.M. Holmes (A. M. Homes deserves recognition for her amazing writing skills, her unique voice and her gloomy view of the world. We follow them in their search for happiness, or some form of contentment, which they never seem to find. Smoking crack in the dining room, having affairs, trying to burn down their own house…nothing seems to change their boredom and disappointment. They’re stuck. They’ve become strangers to each other, to themselves, to their children.)

Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk (I will say that nobody in the world writes better, sentence to sentence, than Palahniuk. His quick, intelligent prose keeps the attention of the worst ADHD-sufferers, and the themes in Fight Club of revolt, of going back to zero, of anti-consumerism are universal, accessible and desperately needed in the world we live in today.)

House of Leaves, Mark Danielwski (Danielewski made us question our own sanity. He led us through the 3-and-a-half-minute hallway and then left us there, shivering and alone, waiting for the monster, who we’ve only ever felt, but that we know (for certain for certain) is the most terrifying thing in the world.)

We Don’t Live Here Anymore, Andre Dubus (it gives us a rubric of how to live our own lives. Shows us that nobody ever has anything figured out, not really. That what we do and feel morphs and shifts. Shows us what to do when everything we’ve held on to for so long goes away, how to bear it. Ultimately it’s about what it’s like to live in a world where we get to make all the decisions, and have to bear the repercussions of what those decisions mean.)

The Road, Cormac McCarthy (It’s full of McCarthy’s terse dialogue, minute detail,stream-of-consciousness, masculinity, and an excruciatingly intense violent plot (win!). Not to mention that, in addition to all of these things, it’s also overwhelmingly sad, which is not an easy thing for a novel to be.)

Rules of Attraction, Brett Easton Ellis (It’s about sex and drugs and horrible, self-absorbed, incomplete people, trying to get laid and quit smoking in a fictional University in New England. The things they do are despicable and immoral. There’s nothing redeeming about any of the characters in the entire book, no hope, and yet this book stings because nobody could write this well about people like this if they did not, in fact, exist in real life.)

Strong Motion, Jonathan Franzen (Franzen is a historian, and he tells us exactly why the world is bad, how it came to be that way. He goes all the way back to the colonization of America, but not in a preachy or boring way. He personifies a raccoon for five pages, which is strangely one of the most poignant parts of the whole book.)

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Diaz (Diaz blends Dominican history and folklore, humor, love, sex, death, revolutions, Castro, and dictators into one of the best freshman novels of all time. He employs current pop references, historical footnotes, a bad-ass original refreshing writing style, a mysterious narrator, Spanish, a blazing humor, age-old plot devices, and one of the most heart-breaking characters in existence to make this an instant classic.)

Tree of Smoke, Denis Johnson (This mammoth odyssey about the Vietnam War transcends all other attempts to write about Vietnam, and makes them look like Hallmark greeting cards. This is Johnson’s masterpiece – a book you can imagine him writing under a succubus’s spell in a fallout shelter—hair long, unshaven, chain-smoking, frenzied to get the words out.)

Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace ( Ultimately, this book is about addiction in every form you could possibly imagine: Heroin, alcohol, cannabis, crack, cocaine, Diludiad, Percocet, sex, sports, cleaning, and on and on and on. Wallace created his own world in Infinite Jest. This is not something you finish and then say, “Well that was a really great book,” and then move on with your life. This book deserves its own cannon. It cannot be categorized. This book genuinely redefines the boundaries of what a novel can do.

Dear Readers, need I say more? Obviously we are living in the middle of Apocalyptic Times. The books on this person’s Top Ten list are all about death, horror, destruction, debauchery, evil, ennui and the deepest, darkest aspects of the human soul. And, the perennial favorite vice, sex. To be honest, there is only one book on this list which I would like to read. You can probably guess which one, the Dubus book of novellas, and here’s why: Ultimately it’s about what it’s like to live in a world where we get to make all the decisions, and have to bear the repercussions of what those decisions mean. I guess the human condition interests me the most when it is in its higher forms, meaning stories which show people striving ultimately to become better, higher, more moral versions of themselves, instead of exploring the worst of what a human can contain.

Towards the end of the 5th century A.D. The Roman Empire fell. “From the eighteenth century onward,” Glen W. Bowersock has remarked, “we have been obsessed with the fall: it has been valued as an archetype for every perceived decline, and, hence, as a symbol for our own fears.” (Wikipedia)

By now nearly everyone living in the contemporary world knows that the times we are living in are the equivalent of those faraway days, with a breakdown in nearly every sphere of society. No wonder that writers are writing such stories, tales of horror and strife, suffering and loss, as the decline of the human spirit itself grows around us like bindweed, spiraling around our souls and binding us to the darkest regions of humanity.

But. What is happening in the ostensible world needn’t drag us down into its murky depths permanently. I am not an advocate of living with one’s head stuck in the sand by any means. And yet we do not have to collectively dwell in despair, nor revel in it nor feed it. We have the choice, because we are still free human beings. In our souls, we have the freedom to choose which stories we will write, read, watch and listen to. We do not have to only be entertained by horror and evil. How the world would change in an instant if the majority of us chose to entertain and educate ourselves with stories which enliven and lift our humanity, instead of keeping us bound by the chains of darkness. I am not interested in lecturing about morality, not really. But I simply see so clearly how our society’s constant diet of death, destruction and utter degradation brings us only deeper into despair. Junk stories, like junk food, destroys the human body and spirit. What kind of world are we collectively creating?

Related articles
http://www.goodreads.com/book/popular_by_date/2012
http://listverse.com/2010/10/10/top-10-best-novels-of-the-last-20-years/

Sunday Salon: Top 10 Science Fiction and Fantasy Novels (shelflove.wordpress.com

11 Books You Should Read If You’re A Woman In Your 20s (thoughtcatalog.com)

My Fearful Symmetry and Women Scorned (horroraddicts.wordpress.com)

 


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The power to destroy and create

“You see, I am an artist. I believe that art saves. I believe it is often the only thing that stands between us and chaos. I have faith that while the world is crumbling, art survives.” — Janis Ian (thanks to annemichael.wordpress.com)

Some of the thoughts that I have been reading here on WordPress the past days have given me pause. In the wake of the violent tragedy in Colorado, I have read beautiful words by several of you, dear blogging friends. A comment I had to one of my posts spoke to the idea that in the absence of creativity, destructive energy has an easy opening into the human psyche. Other thoughts which I have pondered include the undeniable loss of basic human morality in our current society, and the idea of losing one’s way when one loses sight of their core beliefs. In a beautiful post by Jeremiah of Knowthesphere.wordpress.com he contemplates humanity’s power to destroy, and writes,
“We have the power to destroy this entire planet… and it only takes one person to kindle the fire… The only thing that separates us from totally destroying ourselves is the love we all have within… To understand that we can change is only the beginning… Changing is the task.”

All the energy and emotions of the past days and weeks have made me quiet and contemplative, simply taking it all and looking, being with, working to accept this ride we call life. Death and loss are inevitable and vital parts of life’s essence. Likewise darkness too has its place in the whole, along with the light. I think that we tend to want to forget, or not recognize the truth of these words, we seek the light, the good, the beautiful, as we ought to do, it is natural for humans to want these qualities of being. And, somehow I know that we cannot have only the light with no shadows as long as we remain humans on the earth. As much as some of us would dearly love to ascend to something higher, another dimensionality (and I have been reading about this shifting to a fifth dimensionality, there are some excellent blogs which speak about it and work to explain what it is about), I still maintain that part of our task of being human is to struggle with all the sides, all the facets, then work to understand our multiplicity, to love and accept that we are all of it. Made in God’s image… all those metaphors work with this concept. They ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, their eyes were opened… and they had the power of free will. For good or for ill. It is our collective, human destiny to have this power. And find out what it is, and how to use it, not abuse it. But to transcend it totally?  Hmmm.

I have a dear friend back in the States who comments on my blog regularly. He is a firm believer in the idea that evil is not a force outside of ourselves, but that negative impulses come from within each human, and that it is by recognizing, and essentially loving, all the aspects of ourselves, both light and dark, good and destructive, high and low, that we evolve to a higher level of being alive and conscious. I cannot fully agree with his theory that there is nothing outside of ourselves, but I also cannot with any certainty claim that it is not true either. In this world of illusion, it appears that there are forces ‘out there’ which act upon us and affect us in ways that we are not fully aware of. It is like the sun and the moon; they are outside of us humans, and they affect us profoundly whether we are aware of it or not. Same with the fixed starry world, which of course is what astrology is based upon. So to say that there are no forces outside of ourselves just doesn’t feel quite true, to me at least.

Tonight I watched a Youtube concert of one of my favorite performers, Peter Gabriel. It was a film of his Secret World tour, made quite a few years ago now. If you are familiar with his music, you know that it is rich with depth and meaning, powerful imagery and wonderful imagination. It would be difficult to name a favorite song by him, but one of the most beautiful songs he ever wrote is called The Blood of Eden. He and his band, along with a beautiful woman singer, Paula Cole, perform this song during this concert. Here are the lyrics, which I find so beautiful:

I caught sight of my reflection
I caught it in the window
I saw the darkness in my heart
I saw the signs of my undoing
They had been there from the start

And the darkness still has work to do
The knotted chord’s untying
The heated and the holy
Oh they’re sitting there on high
So secure with everything they’re buying

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the blood of Eden lie the woman and the man
With the man in the woman and the woman in the man
In the blood of Eden lie the woman and the man
We wanted the union oh the union of the woman, the woman and the man

My grip is surely slipping
I think I’ve lost my hold
Yes I think I’ve lost my hold
I cannot get insurance any more
They don’t take credit, only gold
Is that a dagger or a crucifix I see
You hold so tightly in your hand
And all the while the distance grows between you and me
I do not understand

In the blood of Eden lie the woman and the man
With the man in the woman and the woman in the man
In the blood of Eden lie the woman and the man
We wanted the union oh the union of the woman, the woman and the man

At my request you take me in
In that tenderness I am floating away
No certainty, nothing to rely on
Holding still for a moment
What a moment this is
Oh for a moment of forgetting
A moment of bliss
Oh….

I can hear the distant thunder
Of a million unheard souls
Of a million unheard souls
Watch each one reach for creature comfort
For the filling of their holes

In the blood of Eden we have done everything we can
In the blood of Eden, so we end as we began
With the man in the woman and the woman in the man
It was all for the union, oh the union of the woman, the woman and the man
–Peter Gabriel, The Blood of Eden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=V3T9ZSFFaVs&NR=1

Dear Readers, I wanted to share this song with you because it speaks so deeply of our human condition, our longing for what is real, what is true, what is whole and good and beautiful in a world full of madness, greed, ugliness, horror and apathy. I can guess that many of you, like me, take solace in music as well as silence. This music tonight, of Peter Gabriel and his very talented band members, reminded me that hope still lives in the human heart, that we have the power to heal from everything imaginable, and that the creative, or art spirit, when kept alive and nurtured, is the most powerful force which we have available to us. Love and creation live together, they are one and the same force which exist both within and outside of us. Even in the blackest, most desperate of circumstances, we always have the power of our imagination. It seems very important to remember this simple and profound truth!

As a writer, I have come to see how easy it is to fall into sentimentality or banality while writing these blogs, to stay too much on the surface of things, to sink into traps of platitudes. There is an art to writing of life’s pain and sufferings, to honor all of it, to not jump to easy answers: there aren’t any.  All of you who have responded to my words of late, and have written beautiful, thoughtful words of your own, have helped me to understand and to remember the power of not only love, but of Art, of Imagination, and of Creation as the best way to heal, to find solace, and to move on from the edges of insanity.  It seems an invaluable tool to combat the negativity which is all around us, and to lift ourselves up to a more conscious life. And if I understand all of you correctly, that is what this whole dance is really about, isn’t it?

Related articles
http://annemichael.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/ambition-failure/
http://myriadlives.wordpress.com/2012/07/12/the-tree-of-the-knowledge-of-good-and-evil/

 

  • Oblivion (knowthesphere.wordpress.com)
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