clearskies, bluewater

Insights, reflections and creative imaginings for our awakening world

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Compassion and sanity in the face of merciless tragedy

Like so many others, I have read and tried to understand the horrific events in Paris, Beirut and Baghdad last week. Many wrote words of eloquence, as they grappled with yet another situation of insanity and brutality against humanity.

Of the articles I read, nearly everyone echoed a similar sentiment: We must not let fear and intimidation, even in the form of extreme violence, stop us from our ultimate goal: Unity of humankind, as the people of Earth stand up and say NO MORE VIOLENCE, NO POLICE STATE, NO MORE SENSELESS WAR AND KILLING.

The People Want Peace and Climate Change

We want Peace, NOW. Whoever is the puppeteer behind the curtains of the world stage, orchestrating these senseless acts of violence in order to create chaos, terror and fear, The People of Earth have a message for you: You cannot win. You can send in your henchmen to terrorize, wreak havoc and harm, but you have, in fact, already lost. The Light is stronger than any darkness you can attempt to spread. The earth has entered a new era of Light and of Love. Millions of people are awakening and realizing that separation is the Great Lie. We sink or swim together, because in reality, We Are One. And more and more of us are realizing this each day now.

All eyes are on Paris, as the Global Climate summit is about to begin at the end of November. As the leaders of France enact Marshall law, closing borders, and arrests without just cause, some may think that the summit will not be held, or at the least held without the massive protests that have been planned for many months. But The People’s voices for REAL policy change in the face of the global climate crisis will not be silenced. Divestment from fossil fuels is happening. Millions around the globe have said no to drilling in the Arctic. Clean energy is gaining momentum, and it will continue in the years to come. The People of Earth are speaking. We will not be stopped.

My heart and prayers are with the families and friends of all those who gave their lives or were harmed by the attacks last week. Justice will be served. My greatest hope is that in time, the puppeteers will be prosecuted and removed from power so they can pull these horrific strings of terror no more.

I encourage everyone who can, to pull together in solidarity with each other and seek compassion and understanding, not separation, not judgement, not yet more warmongering. Let us now move into our true power as Masters of Love, of Light, of Peace. We are all in this life together. Let sanity prevail.

“We need global solidarity more than ever right now, and that is, really, what this movement is all about. Even as climate change fans the flames of conflict in many parts of the world — through drought, displacement, and other compounding factors — a global movement that transcends borders and cultural differences is rising up to confront this common existential threat.

Let’s hang on to that solidarity and love. Let’s learn from it. Especially at a time like this.

This movement for climate justice has always also been movement for peace – a way for people around the world to come together, no matter their background or religion, and fight to protect our common home. We can think of few better responses to violence and terror than this movement’s push for peace and hope.”  –Nicolas Haeringer,


Going to summer camp

Tomorrow I leave the city for summer camp in the Rockies. Excited I am, and also a little scared. The image of The Fool, that one who, white rose in hand, bundle of belongings upon one shoulder, is blissfully about to step off the precipice into the Unknown, is my symbol tonight: About to leap, in utter trust, and hoping for a soft landing.fool

The camp I am going to is indeed for kids, from ages 7 through 12 years old. It’s in a beautiful spot, high in the mountains at nine thousand feet elevation. There is a private lake, horses, archery, canoeing, and all the usual summer camp activities. My role will be in the kitchen, as assistant Chef. This means I will be cooking a whole lot of food for hungry kids for the next ten weeks.   I have the feeling we will have a good time together, with all sorts of forest creatures nearby, cooler, clean air and water, and millions of stars for company at night.

Dear Readers, what will you do with your summertime this year? It is such a brief and lovely season, the mornings so fresh and soft, the heat radiating everything and everyone by afternoon, and the evenings so wonderfully long and warm. It is the luxurious time of year, when humans can shed outerwear and sensible shoes, women wrap themselves in sheer and flowing dresses, men wear little more than a pair of shorts and perhaps a tee shirt, everybody wears flip flops or sandals, and as the song goes, The living is easy. Generous, easy and a little bit lazy…… like floating down a slow-moving river in a row boat, swinging in a tree swing, hiking up a gorgeous mountainside full of flowers, or any of the hundreds of wonderous occupations and diversions that one can think of to enjoy himself on a sunny afternoon in summer.


I would like to suggest to everyone reading this post, don’t be in a hurry this summer, or so set on DOING….. rather, focus more of your energy on simply BEING….. enjoying each moment as it arrives, flashes like a koi in a calm pond, and disappears again. No other time of year affords such luxury of time to simply Be. Enjoy it while it lasts, love and appreciate the people around you as much as you possibly can, and most of all, love yourself. You have been working so hard at this game of being human, it is time to reward yourself in many ways this summer. Celebrate being alive, your ability to laugh, hug and breathe the air, feel water on your skin, smell the flowers, see the beauty of our amazing planet, hear the birdsong, taste wonderful, fresh fruit and vegetables from a garden, touch another being. We are all so blessed to be alive, I hope you love it all!!

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Negotiating the Rapids of Our Times

Today is a holiday in the United States, a day for remembrance of those who have gone before those of us who walk the Earth now. Some remember the soldiers who fought in wars, others remember people they have loved who have passed back to the spiritual world. Remembrance is a two-edged sword; it brings up many feelings that can bring us pain and sorrow, as well as joy and warmth.

Today I walked along the river again. The water level is high, due to all the rain we have been receiving this month. It is gorgeous there now, as green as it ever gets in the prairielands of Colorado. I stood and watched the water gracefully flowing around a group of old willow trees, taking in the simple, wild beauty of nature all around me. A little ways above where I stood, there is a waterfall that flows under a foot-bicycle bridge. As has been the case for many weeks, the water was mightily and majestically falling from the higher to lower section of the river. Above it, the water was smoothly and calmly flowing, then suddenly rapids, with foam and spray and swirling, and then the river again became calm and smoothly flowing downstream to where I stood.

How do you navigate the rapids when they appear?

How do you navigate the rapids when they appear?

This spectacle seems like a perfect metaphor for our lives now! There is so much energy flowing and swirling all around us throughout the course of a day or a year, it often feels that we get caught up in the rapids and must do whatever we can to simply negotiate them until we can again find a calm place to flow. No matter who we are, our station in life, or where we happen to be standing upon Earth, there are cycles of smoothly flowing and periods of rapid change. It seems completely unavoidable.

Franz Kafka reminds us, “You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”

Given this unavoidable conundrum, the question then becomes, How do we navigate the rapids when we arrive at them? Again, there are no simple answers for this (although some may feel they have THE answer to it), but there are certainly choices we can make that will determine the kind of experience we will have there. If we take the metaphor of the river, then it becomes clear that there are a few ways to traverse the rapids. One, if you see or know that they are coming up soon, you can try to  get to shore, and simply walk or climb alongside the rapids until you pass them and return to a calmer place to get back into the water. Two, you can make sure your life jacket is strapped on tight, take a deep breath, say a prayer, and go screaming down the rapids. Or three, you can just get out of the water before they hit, and sit on the shore indefinitely, refusing to continue. Are there other choices to navigate the waters of our life? Probably many, but you get the idea. Perhaps a key to navigation is reflection and planning ahead for what you will choose to do when the time comes. Or perhaps you are the sort of person who just takes it all as it comes, and can strategize on the fly. In any case, what we know for sure is that you will face those moments, with varying degrees of grace.

As I was watching the water falling over the rocks a few days ago, I was delighted to observe a friend on the other side. Mister Heron was standing on the edge of a large rock, watching the cascading water with his keen eyes, contemplating the fish he was sure to catch. I sat on my side of the river and watched him for a long time as he patiently watched the water, and waited. Sure enough, eventually he stretched out his neck very far and peered closely into the white water, then in one sure and quick movement, snapped his needle-like beak around a silvery fish. He stood erect and quickly swallowed the fish whole. He seemed very happy then, and after a few moments, flew up to a nearby cottonwood tree to rest and digest. Delighted for him, I stood up and clapped my hands, congratulating him on his expert fisher prowess. It was an inspiring moment.


If I could choose what creature to be on Earth, it would surely be a heron. I have long admired these beautiful and graceful water birds, that can stand for so long, waiting so patiently for the perfect opportunity to catch their fish dinner. They are magnificent to watch flying low over rivers, and have such a spirit of grace and harmony about them. And they love to stand near white water, enjoying the rush of the spray and the force of water around them, utterly fearless. To me, the heron represents a kind of ultimate freedom while living on Earth, a creature of air and water and land: The best of all worlds.

Dear Readers, I wish you all a peaceful and happy time as you find your own ways of traversing both the calm and the rapids of your individual journeys. I honor each one of you for your contribution to the whole of humanity’s slow but sure rise in evolution. Each one of you is precious and important, and I thank you for being here. I see the Light and Love within you, and I honor it.

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Beyond unbelievably bad news for Earth

It is nearly the middle of the year 2015. In fact, today’s number date, written in European style, is 15-05-15. An auspicious date. In a telling year, in the early years of the 21st century, planet Earth.

The news across the world is bad. There seems to be no other way to express it: the news is bad and getting worse by the day. For anyone who is even vaguely following the reports about the environment, things really seem to be going from one unbelievably bad idea to the next. Today I read this article, regarding plans for a giganticly huge coal mining operation to begin in Queensland, Australia in 2017. The article, which ran in the Guardian, states,

“Massive mining operations are looking to plunder a gigantic new coal frontier in the Galilee Basin. There are 247,000 sq km (95,400 sq miles) of coal: a land mass the size of Britain….if the complex is fully developed, greenhouse gas emissions from the burned coal would top 700m tonnes a year, bringing irreversible climate change ever closer.

Were the Galilee Basin a country, it would be the seventh largest contributor of carbon dioxide in the world, just behind Germany.

“”This level of mining would devastate this land beyond recognition. It would destroy any sense of connection to the land. We are afraid of being wiped out completely.” Adrian Burragubba (

And this story is just the latest in a huge series of connected stories from around the planet; connected in their common denominator of yet more, huger, uglier and more devastating environmental pillage. The Obama administration approved Shell Oil’s plans to drill for oil in the Arctic this summer, with utter disregard for the hundreds of thousands, if not millions of human beings’ absolute opposition to this atrocity. Tonight I barely have words to describe the degree of incredulousness I feel regarding what is happening to our precious home, Earth. It is inconceivable that human beings living here could be so very eager and willing to destroy our planet. Completely. The amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, once these plans by the fossil fuel companies are in full swing, will simply destroy life on Earth, and probably sooner than later.


How can we, The People of Earth, allow this to happen? I ask myself this question frequently. And yet. Looking around me on any given day, anywhere that people are gathered, (say on the bus or at the botanic gardens or walking downtown, or sitting in a restaurant, or…) I get the distinct impression that the vast majority of humans in modern, urban society simply do not really even consider what is actually happening to their world, nor, sadly, do most of them care enough to do most anything to stop it. Many people more eloquent than me have written extensively on this subject, and the reasons why people seemingly do not care. This is from a short article from The Guardian, where the writer states,

“They seem to think there is some critical mass that, through the weight of belief alone, will get us where we want to go. As if when the numbers aren’t high enough, we can’t achieve anything. As if when the numbers are high enough, beautiful transformation will magically happen all by itself or people will vote for wonderful politicians who do the right thing. Too many of us seem far too fond of narratives of our powerlessness, maybe because powerlessness lets us off the hook. As we head into that most dismal of situations, another unbearably long electoral cycle, many who care about climate change will say that we need an elected official who will represent us or a great majority who agree with us. But we don’t need everyone on board; we don’t need one magic person in office; we need ourselves. To act.” –Rebecca Solnit,

I remember distinctly how I felt after I watched, with horror and fascination, Al Gore’s movie An Inconvenient Truth in the movie theatre years ago. The movie ended, and all of us in the audience filed out silently, in shock and awe at what we had just seen: Gore had essentially spelled out for all of us non-scientist citizens, what would be occuring during the years ahead if we stayed collectively asleep and did nothing to stop global warming. That was in 2007. Now it is eight years later, and it is coming to pass. Sadly, most of us are still doing very little or less to affect any positive change, i.e., raising our voices as often and loudly as possible to anyone and everyone who might hear.

Honestly, I just feel so incredibly SAD about the fact that the humans of the not-very-distant future (people like our children and their children) are going to have problems we cannot even fathom, to deal with on a daily basis. Right now we are shaking our heads at the crazy weather this spring, or feeling sorry for the people of Nepal….. then getting into our gasoline-burning cars and forgetting about it. People think they are just one little person, and their actions don’t matter so much to the whole…. but that is the whole point!!! Each little individual person, combined into a city, a region, a state, a country, adds up exponentially into a power, a HUGE power for good, positive change, or else for stagnation, decay, entropy and eventually destruction. The choice is ALWAYS ours, each one of us, every minute of every day. Not choosing to change or to speak up or to act is also a choice, it’s a choice to condemn the Earth to devastation.


Dear Readers, I know you are each just one small human in a huge ocean of billiions of humans. But you matter, your voice matters, what you think about in a day MATTERS, and especially who you talk to and what you talk about, matters. We can choose to deliberately and consciously think about what is actually going on in our world, learn as much as possible so we are educated on the issues, and then speak about these things with people we know and people we don’t yet know, thereby educating them. Sometimes I fantasize about standing up in the middle of the commuter bus in the morning, and just yelling, “Hey, Denver!! Wake Up!! Do you know that Shell Oil is about to ruin the most pristine and fragile place on Earth this summer? And here’s why you should care.” I would probably get carted off to the city jail if I were to become so bold. But the way things are going, that may not be such a bad thing in the long run.



The wild places within and without us

Spring is the season of green and rain and changing weather. For those of us who enjoy a daily walk in nature, it is an ever-changing landscape from one day to the next. Very near to where I live is, miraculously, a nature area which some long-sighted city planners long ago designated as nature preserve. Although I live in the middle of a major American metropolis, I need only walk a few minutes down to find peace and wildness, a sanctuary space amongst urban sprawl.


Cherry Creek nature area, still wild in the heart of urban sprawl

I was there today. There is a river there, that also changes depending upon the amount of rain or snow or sun we’ve had that week. It is an unusually rainy spring here, so there is a great deal of green both underfoot and on all the trees now. This part of the country is normally semi-arid plains, and there are cactus and many kinds of hardy perennial native plants growing there. Stands of old cottonwoods and their younger offspring grow all along the river banks, as well as willow, maple, alder, ash, hawthorn and wild apple. Many North American birds spend time there as well, from robins, sparrows, larks, etc., to mallard ducks who calmly cruise the waterway in pairs or small groups. Today I watched a small, white heron fly over the river on its way somewhere. Mostly the river meanders in a great curving flow from east to west, but there are a couple of spots where the nature conservation corps have set large rocks, and underneath one foot/bike bridge there is a rather spectacular waterfall. As all of you who spend time in nature are well aware, it is the best place to go to in order to heal oneself of any and all ills a person may be dealing with in life. In these quickly changing and accelerating times, there is nothing better than taking a walk, breathing in the fresh air, and letting nature soothe and heal the soul, body and spirit. For myself, I find myself usually walking a kind of pendulum between action and resting, between having to think and focus and being able to let go and rest. It is during the resting times that the emotions well up, asking to be released. My emotional state is so fragile and close to the surface at this point that all it takes is a kind word or two, or a compassionate human standing next to me, for tears to come. I am not ill or needing to be fixed, (although it is true that in the past couple of years I have been broken completely open) it is simply that my heart is expanded and so sensitive now to life, to nature and to others that I just FEEL so much. Walking along the river bank today, I marveled at the tiny, heart-shaped first leaves of the cottonwoods. The maple leaves with their red and green patterned leaves were just so finely wrought, so delicate. The hawthorn flowers smelled heavenly. The stalks of wild grass grew so tall and straight, their flowers still wrapped up tight like a present, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal themselves. We are like this too, wrapped up inside of ourselves, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal ourselves before another. The most daring and vulnerable thing we can do is to open up, to let go of our fears of being seen, of being known, and let the world into us completely. How do we heal ourselves from all of the horrors we have inside of us, from who knows how many lifetimes of pain, of cruelty, of hurting and being hurt? We can find the answer by emulating nature. As long as there is even a small amount of water, of sun, wind, rain, and soil, nature can and will recover from even tremendous devastation. The power of nature to heal itself, to grow anew each and every spring is beyond incredible, it is truly magical. Paulo-Coelho-quote I contemplate some humans’ ability to overcome the greatest obstacles and traumas imaginable. I sometimes can barely fathom how they could overcome such terrible circumstances, injustices, violence and horrendous brutality, how did they manage to go through such adversity and live to smile again, to love again, to write books and plant gardens and change the world? I believe the answer lies in the idea that we are a part of Nature herself, and within each of us lies a tremendous will to go on, to simply continue. It may take time, perhaps many years, to heal the old scars within us. Yet with time and with care, it happens. In fact it IS happening, all over the world. People are caring more and more, for each other and for the Earth. They are helping the Earth to heal in thousands of ways and places. As we do this, we become a greater part of the intricate web that constitutes all of us, the tapestry of life on Earth that we are, each one a strand that has value and importance. When we recognize this, a profound change occurs inside our soul. Life is definitely not about getting what we think we want. But it is about finding out just how beautiful and valuable our lives truly are, with all of its pain and its glory. Happy Spring, everyone.


We are so connected

For the past 48 plus hours, I, along with many thousands of others across the world, have been reading of and seeing through the internet, the plight of those affected by Saturday morning’s devastating earthquake in Nepal. As I am sure you are all aware, it is an utter emergency situation, with many suffering humans and not nearly enough able-bodied ones to help them.

Gazing at the photos and reading the news stories today, my heart grew larger and heavier with compassion for these people. In an instant, their already fragile and overburdened world toppled, crumbled and was destroyed, leaving thousands dead and thousands more without electricity, no way to communicate outside of their immediate surroundings, no way to cook what food they do have, very little in the way of medical supplies and many are too afraid to sleep inside their homes for fear of another quake killing them and their loved ones.

Echoes of Japan’s tsunami in March of 2011 conjured in my mind and heart, as I vividly recall being glued to the internet and watching that catastrophe unfold over many days. Now, as then, we watch helplessly as many humans suffer in another part of the world. Nepal is halfway across the planet from where I sit and write this tonight, yet they are close because we are so connected. For a long time, many years in fact, I heard these words and although I knew they were true, I could not really feel their truth. But now that has all changed, and as I have been laying in bed for many hours during the past three days, wondering what is wrong with me and why I can hardly move or even get up to eat, I finally understand. Some of us have reached a level of consciousness now that no longer allows us to ignore when others are suffering, whether we wish to or not. My empathic capacities seem to have reached an all-time high, and part of my soul is there with the Nepali people–crying, grieving and in pain, in utter solidarity with their plight.

Nepal Earthquake

A day or so ago, I read a blog post by a woman I have followed for the past three years. She has written volumes about humanity’s ascension to higher dimensions, and a lot of what she has written had a lot of wisdom and what felt like truth in it. The post I read was her impressions of the perhaps ‘higher’ perspective of this earthquake, where she pointed out things like ‘the male-dominated culture of the world was for eons of time centered in this part of the world, and it is symbolic destroying of this old system,’ etc etc….whether or not any of that is the case seems to me to be utterly beside the point.

The degree of dispassion in her writing was not only disappointing, but in fact angered me quite a lot. How can a person who claims to be so enlightened and evolved write about people’s suffering in such a callous and unfeeling manner? I simply do not understand it.

This point brings up the larger picture of the current state of our human world: its serious lack of compassion generally. True, many people on earth today are genuinely concerned for the welfare of their family, friends, maybe even neighbors and co-workers. Perhaps they belong to a church or other community organization and give to it in various ways that shows they care. But what about people who are perceived as strangers, foreigners, or even worse, enemies of one kind or another? How many earthquakes, hurricanes, tsunamis, droughts, floods and other major disasters will it take before the collective that is US, ALL of US HUMANS, wake up to this obvious fact: WE ARE SO CONNECTED TO ONE ANOTHER. What happens in Nepal affects everyone else on the planet, whether we realize it or not. And that is just the human world. What about Nature?


A destroyed temple in Kathmandu after the April 25 earthquake.

Dear Readers, I can well imagine that for most of you who read my blog, I am singing to the proverbial choir. You already know all of this, right? And yet. This seems to me to be the crux, the heart of what is so desperately needing to change upon our earth: the illusion that we are somehow separate from each other and everything else. This lie has been so insidiously pervasive, so cleverly buried within our psyches over the course of myriad lifetimes, that most of us simply cannot see our way out of it and understand that it is a lie. Again I return to the story of the hundredth monkey: at first, only one little monkey and it’s monkey child changed their behavior. Then a few more, and then even more…. and then, suddenly one day they ALL changed.

I believe this is the metamorphosis we are currently experiencing, right now in this time, right here on this planet we call home. Sure we can point to those few absurdly privileged humans who seem to own and control nearly all the planet’s wealth and have all the power in their grubby little hands, and say  “They are at fault!!” And in a way it is certainly true. Yet, when we do this, we give our own power over to them. Yes they have billions of dollars, and have bought every person, place and thing possible in order to keep their bottom lines flowing…. but We The People have something they do not yet have, nor understand: The Power of US. Together, as ONE people, we are seven billion strong, and if you multiply that times the power of LOVE, which is Infinity, well folks, that is an unbeatable power.

Here is a power that is stronger than we might realize.

Here is a power that is stronger than we might realize.

So you see, the fact that I have been unable to get out of bed since the earthquake began affecting me actually makes a lot of sense. And my act of sending as much love, compassion and healing light to those suffering in Nepal tonight also does a lot of good. Words from an old song I love:

We can change…yes we can change…the world
Rearrange…rearrange the world
It’s dying…if you believe in justice
It’s dying…and if you believe in freedom
It’s dying…let a man live his own life
It’s dying…rules and regulations who needs them
Open up the door

(song Chicago by Crosby, Stills and Nash)


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Who’s leading who?

Time seems to fly by these days now, doesn’t it? More often than not, I experience my life with a kind of detachment, simultaneously observing the life I am leading as well as living it from within this fragile body. Curiouser and curiouser.

Every morning is such a gift, though. I repeat my morning routine and ritual each day, take on whatever sweater and jacket I will wear, open the front door, step outside, lock the door behind me, and walk onto the street. The trees are blooming now, wearing their new spring green so joyously, as the morning birds sing songs from their branches. The air feels soft and clean, the sky huge and still. It is the rarest and loveliest moment of the day, as the sun rises and the world is still undone.

The internal work continues. I doubt if there is anyone alive right now, if they are at all conscious of themselves, who is not dealing with any number of issues, dramas, situations, or other moments where their self, their mind, the part of them that wants, needs, is reluctant, afraid or grasps, is not demanding something, wanting the limelight, grabbing the attention. The small self is acting up just like a three-year-old, and we had better listen. What is up with that, dear Readers?

A website that I’ve recently found,, has some interesting and wise advice concerning this phenomenon. I’ve just read an article by Gerrit Gielen, where he makes the following points:

The soul is the creator of our human personality, we as a human being reflect one aspect of our soul similar to how an Archangel represents one aspect of God. The two most important factors that determine our human reality are: 1. our soul and its intentions for us, and 2. our willingness or unwillingness to work together in harmony with our soul, the source who created us. Our soul has a life plan for us that may contain goals that differ from our ideas about what is desirable in our lives. The basic creative force in our lives is our soul and not our human thoughts. We can work with the creative force of our souls, or we can work against it. Positive thinking aimed at wishes and desires that do not comply with our soul’s plan is not effective. But positive thoughts that are aligned with our soul’s intentions, support the creation process and add a sense of grace and ease to it.

If you do not follow the way of your soul, go against your deeper feelings, and try to control life too much, you lose touch with your soul’s wisdom and you start to feel empty inside. As with most of us, you may become carried away by earthly concerns and focus your attention on matters that you think are very important, but that essentially do not contribute to your inner growth: recognition, possessions, success, money, etcetera. Thus, the angel and you follow a different path and you start to feel unhappy and lonely.

You try to solve this dilemma by working harder, by gathering even more success, money, or power, because the society in which you were raised has taught you that these things are very important. Or you try to solve your loneliness by searching for the ideal partner. You are looking for your inner angel in the outside world. That will fail, because another person can never fulfill the role of your inner angel; the result will always be disappointing. Rather than restoring the connection with your soul, you end up feeling even more alienated from it.

Often, at this point a crisis will occur that challenges you to wake up and realign with your soul: perhaps illness or other adversities such as a divorce or losing your job. It is vital that you now turn inward and actively seek to restore the connection with the angel. If you want to create a new and more fulfilling life, positive thinking alone will not help you. If your positive thoughts aim to only remove the setbacks so you can return to the life you were used to, they will fail, because they go against the soul’s intentions. And if the positive thoughts or mantras are aimed at merely eliminating the disease or misfortune, they will be a way of denying or suppressing the inner darkness that needs to be dealt with up front. Only by facing your deepest feelings and fears, and restoring the conscious connection with your soul, will a true solution arise. Your soul will create that solution for you, if you are willing to face your inner darkness and listen to what your heart truly tells you.

You may wonder why we have desires that go against our soul’s plan, or why the soul has intentions that go against our plans. The reason why this gap exists is that our soul’s primary purpose is inner growth, while we often seek external solutions to our problems. From the soul’s perspective, negative experiences are often there to guide us toward inner growth and liberation, but we generally want to avoid those experiences. We want to rid ourselves of emotional or physical pain, and it is a real challenge to open up to the possibility that this pain has meaning and leads us into deeper self-understanding. Only if we recognize the wisdom of our soul, which often surpasses our human understanding, do our thoughts really gain creative power. Only positive thinking that acknowledges the value and meaning of “negative experiences” is aligned with the divine force that creates the universe.

To know whether your thoughts are aligned with your soul’s purpose, you can also ask: “Is my positive thinking based on fear or on love?” If you have wishes and desires, it is wise to check carefully whether they originate from love or from fear. If it is fear, go inward and face the frightened part in yourself. Face it with kindness and honesty. Ask yourself: “What does this part of me really need at this time?” If you do that, you will often find that the answer refers to something internal, rather than something external: what is needed are qualities such as self-esteem, trust, the ability to set boundaries, compassion, or a sense of humor. You are often able to give yourself what you need by developing these qualities in your everyday life. In this way, you will heal the fearful part of you and your wishes and desires may change because of that. They will be based on love and genuine self understanding rather than fear. Healing inner darkness is a deeply creative feat. Facing fear and surrounding it with the energy of love is more powerful than any affirmation you can think of! The result is that you become closely connected with your soul. Your soul light begins to shine through you and it is this light that is creative. It will create an outer reality (work, relationships) that provides inner growth, joy, and happiness.

You can apply positive thinking and affirmations as much as you want, but you will still grow old. Your thoughts are powerless against the natural aging process. But now look at this issue from the perspective of the soul. Is the soul interested in keeping us young? From the soul’s perspective, we are timeless, only our bodies are aging. To connect with your soul’s viewpoint, look in the mirror: see how your face is getting older, while sensing at the same time that there is something inside you, behind your eyes, that does not change. This is who you really are. While you, the human being, would perhaps want to stay forever in this body, your soul does not. The soul knows that there are infinitely more worlds and dimensions to be experienced and explored. The soul looks beyond what our human eyes can see and knows: the universe is waiting for us. – Gerrit Gielen,

Reading Gerrit’s words today has given me strength and been an excellent reminder that what is happening in my life, in all of our lives, truly has meaning and purpose– the soul’s purpose which is the reason for me being in this human body in the first place. So much has happened in my life that I simply have no good answer for the question, Why? It is a question that I ask myself often, usually without coming up with a very good answer. But when I take it to this higher level, and am able to drop the small me’s ‘but why?” through my tears and heartache, I realize the power, wisdom and strength of surrendering to my soul’s purpose. Aligning with your soul is no easy task, is it? Your angel, as Gerrit calls it, will ask you to do things and go places you probably will not want to do nor go. Ain’t gonna do it, no way, your small self protests. And yet. In the end, if you listen to your soul, your angel, or the Higher You, he or she will win out. And you will grow from it, and learn the lesson you need.

You must do the thing-EleanorRooseveltThere are so many days when I take myself in hand, make myself do the thing I do not wish to do. And I do it because I am committed to my Soul’s growth and I love Her. Once I asked an old teacher of mine about God. He replied, “You have to know what god you are praying to, as there are many in the hierarchy of Heaven.” At the time I did not understand what he meant. Now, many years and miles later, I think I understand more. Our lives and the human-spiritual world connection are complex systems with vastly greater workings than we can possibly understand in these human bodies. The times we are living in are a whirlpool of constant change. There are huge forces at work upon all of us and the planet in every moment far vaster than we know. But we feel it in so many ways, each day and night. What do you think you are doing when you lay down and sleep at night? You are very busy, dear Readers. We are off in who knows how many dimensions, working with angels, guides, councils, other humans, other life forms throughout our sleeping hours. No wonder we often awaken and feel so very tired!! Our lives are a constantly shifting, moving roller coaster ride. We all signed up to be a part of this great shift that is happening to us long before we incarnated into these peculiar human bodies during the end of the 20th and beginning of the 21st centuries C.E.,or however you wish to describe our time in history. Are you tired? Do you remember that you wanted to be here and be a part of all that is happening on Earth now? Hard to believe sometimes, I know. But we did, we all wanted this. Because without us, the Great Shift won’t happen, and our world will continue to degrade and eventually die.

a seeds greatest expression-OccelliBy each and every one of us being here, saying Yes! to life, to love, to committing to each other and ourselves that We are the Change, we stand up to fear, to terror, to pain and misery, greed and hatred and all the by-products of separation, and the world changes. It IS CHANGING, for the better in thousands of ways. We must not lose our perspective to this 3D matrix that is so cleverly spun around us, we must not let it overwhelm us. This is BIG WORK, dear Readers! There is nothing more important nor worthwhile in all the universes. We have to soldier on, whether we want to or not. The future of Gaia and all of humanity depends on the work we are doing now, today and every day for the rest of our lives. Our souls want this, we want it for each other and our great great great grandchildren, for all of the animals and nature that we love on this planet. Keep going!! Chin up. Rest as and when you can, love yourself very gently, always, and be in gratitude to your Self for all that you do. When the three-year-old is screaming and having his fit, take him into your loving arms and soothe him. See yourself in this way, and care for her as you would your precious child, for that is in reality what You Are.

Thank you for being here with me, for all the good you are and all that you do to help. I love you all.


Our lives are not our own

“This world spins from the same unseen forces that twist our hearts.” –Robert Frobisher, Cloud Atlas

It is once again the time of balance, at this Spring equinox. For a brief moment, the world seems to hover between day and night, dark and light, seen and unseen, known and unknown. We can only have glimpses into who we really are, so much greater than we can perceive through these small, fragile and often faulty bodies that house our souls. What is a human soul, if not a storehouse of experiences, emotions, ideas, memories, dreams and desires? We do not know our own immensity, our true divinity, nor our potential for harm or for good in the past, present and future. We are born, live and die to our flesh and blood countless times, for what end? Can any of us living on earth now give a definitive answer to the perennial questions that persist in our hearts and minds?

At this time of equinox, of balance, I once again ponder these thoughts. My life feels bigger, more enhanced these days. It is as if I am seeing through a larger, clearer lens, one that provides brighter colors and sharper intensity than before. Throughout the course of day and night I find myself running various film clips through my mind’s screen: from being a child to teenager, from standing in a forest somewhere in another country to walking with my children when they were no more than toddlers, to being in another world somewhere with people I do not know in this life. I often feel these days that I am walking through a waking dream more than anything I used to call reality. In point of fact, I no longer feel at all sure as to what constitutes ‘reality.’ And am realizing that I never knew what it was, I only believed that I did. As the lines between dreams and waking, this life and the former and the next continue to blur and the veil grows ever thinner, less and less of this matrix that passes for our real world seems real at all. We have all had collective amnesia for so long that most of us truly do not understand that all we see and experience around us is of the illusion, so powerfully do we believe in it.

During the past month, I have watched two films that I waited to see until I felt truly ready to experience them: The first Matrix movie, and Cloud Atlas. If you have seen them, you understand why they impacted me so deeply. If you haven’t, all I can really tell you is, these films deal with the human condition in profound ways, and touch nerves deep in the human psyche, heart and soul.

Your life can’t be measured in hours, you can’t measure the immeasurable. Your life is pure energy. You are endless, timeless. Every birth, every death is just a transaction of life forces. You are vast, you are the vastness of space. You are the beauty, you are the unknown.” Anita Krizzan

Dear Readers, this world we are living in has become extraordinarily difficult for me to take. Everywhere, it seems, is in a kind of chaos– extreme polarization, environmental catastrophe, political upheaval, social disasters of every description, global weather off all former records and charts, and insanity seems to be running the show. And, as many of us who read such posts already guess, things are bound to get even more so for the foreseeable future. The problems mankind faces are by now so vast and feel so unstoppable, they are a runaway train with no driver, heading straight for the cliffs of oblivion. There are good reasons why films like the ones I mentioned, along with myriad others, depict an apocalyptic world run by those who have enslaved and genetically changed human beings: because we know and understand on some level that this is precisely what IS happening to humanity, right now, today. The food we eat, the beverages we drink, the air we breathe, the jobs so many of us have, what we do for entertainment and relief from the relentlessness of this world, all of it has by now been tampered with, manipulated, artificially created and very deliberately designed to keep the human species at a very low level of consciousness, basically in a sort of sleepwalking state. It has been this way for many years by now, but only in more recent ones have some of us been waking up to the awful truth.

For a long time (years, really) I was unable to see or to admit that humanity is being controlled. I guess you could say I had been taking the blue pill that makes one forget about what is really happening. Now that I have awakened from that amnesiatic state, I can never return. Nor can anyone who awakens, which I realize is the whole point. Perhaps if enough of us awaken, we can begin to turn the train around and set it on another track before it goes over the edge into the abyss. It is a truly frightening thought that we humans have the power to destroy our planet to the point of utter desolation. Yet we not only have that power, but through our collective ignorance and denial, we are doing it. What will it be like in California once there is no water there for the people to freely use? Once the Megacities are in full swing, ten or twenty times larger than they are now? Once many coastal regions are underwater? Once the Arctic ice is completely gone? I do not have answers for any of this, I only know that it will be a very different world to live in than at this moment.

“Belief, like fear or love, is a force to be understood as we understand the theory of relativity, and principles of uncertainty. Phenomena that determine the course of our lives. Yesterday, my life was headed in one direction. Today, it is headed in another. Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today. These forces that often remake time and space, they can shape and alter who we imagine ourselves to be, begin long before we are born, and continue after we perish. Our lives and our choices, like quantum trajectories, are understood moment to moment, at each point of intersection, each encounter, suggest a new potential direction.” Isaac Sachs, Cloud Atlas

I used to believe that my life and my little problems and dramas mattered more than anything else. When you are in the middle of it, of course they do matter, terribly much. And yet. These days I am taking a higher perspective, as I realize more profoundly that it is not just my life anymore, and it never was. It is OUR life, our collective life as humanity upon Earth, that truly matters. If I go down, you go with me. If you perish, I too will die. We can no longer afford the illusion of separation under which we have been living for so very long. We are ONE body, ONE heart, ONE being, we are connected in ways we cannot fathom nor understand with our limited human capacities. It is only by growing new capacities, by evolving into greater beings than we have let ourselves be, that we will gain this understanding of the truth. It is a truth that has been taught by the Wise Ones of all eras and cultures, nothing new. Yet it is needed now in our times like never before. Love is the Great Truth and Reality. It is the only thing that actually matters, that gives meaning and purpose to our lives. The evidence of what a loveless world is like is all around us. The time for a world based on Love is NOW.



Don’t Look Away

Maybe we do look – really look – but then, inevitably, we seem to forget. Remember and then forget again. Climate change is like that; it’s hard to keep it in your head for very long. We engage in this odd form of on-again-off-again ecological amnesia for perfectly rational reasons.We deny because we fear that letting in the full reality of this crisis will change everything. And we are right.

We know that if we continue on our current path of allowing emissions to rise year after year, climate change will change everything about our world. Major cities will very likely drown, ancient cultures will be swallowed by the seas, and there is a very high chance that our children will spend a great deal of their lives fleeing and recovering from vicious storms and extreme droughts. And we don’t have to do anything to bring about this future. All we have to do is nothing. Just continue to do what we are doing now, whether it’s counting on a techno-fix or tending to our gardens or telling ourselves we’re unfortunately too busy to deal with it.

All we have to do is not react as if this is a full-blown crisis. All we have to do is keep on denying how frightened we actually are. And then, bit by bit, we will have arrived at the place we most fear, the thing from which we have been averting our eyes. No additional effort required.

But before any of these changes can happen – before we can believe that climate change can change us – we first have to stop looking away.

Climate change has become an existential crisis for the human species. The only historical precedent for a crisis of this depth and scale was the Cold War fear that we were heading toward nuclear holocaust, which would have made much of the planet uninhabitable. But that was (and remains) a threat; a slim possibility, should geopolitics spiral out of control. The vast majority of nuclear scientists never told us that we were almost certainly going to put our civilisation in peril if we kept going about our daily lives as usual, doing exactly what we were already doing, which is what the climate scientists have been telling us for years.

Why then are climatologists speaking out about the dangers of global warming? The answer is that virtually all of us are now convinced that global warming poses a clear and present danger to civilisation.

It doesn’t get much clearer than that. And yet rather than responding with alarm and doing everything in our power to change course, large parts of humanity are, quite consciously, continuing down the same road…. What is wrong with us? – Naomi Klein, excerpt from This Changes Everything

In the introduction to her new book, This Changes Everything, Naomi Klein asks the Big Question to Humanity: What is wrong with us? And gives us a clue to the answer as she states that we must, collectively, stop looking away. Anyone who is even slightly awake on planet Earth today has to see that we are in a dangerous situation that is growing ever more so, soon to the point of no return. (Some would argue that we are most certainly there already.) Meaning that humanity has by now created an unprecedented environmental catastrophe without end into the far future. And yet we continue, day after day, to simply look away, avert our gaze, throwing up our hands, asking, What can be done? And then go about our daily lives, hoping that somehow, someone or something will come to our rescue and save the humans, nature and the planet.

Of course there are those who are so sick and tired of humans and their ceaseless greed and stupidity, that they are actively cheering for the armageddon to arrive and wipe the slate clean. Get rid of the idiots, let the Earth recover by herself, on her own huge planetary timeline and start over, perhaps with a different, more clever species at the reigns. Honestly, would that scenario really be so bad?


We can no longer afford to bury our heads in the sand on climate change!

We need to speak our truth now, with clarity. To have courage is to live the way of the heart. To be fearless, to live without fear of retribution or having terrible repercussions if we speak the truth to the world. You cannot be truthful or loving if you are not courageous. The truth of our (meaning collective humanity and all life upon Earth) precarious situation can simply no longer be denied or ignored by the majority of us. Temperatures on Earth are rising, is the simple fact that, according to Naomi Klein and so many others, Changes Everything. It is no longer somebody else’s problem, it is yours and mine and every other human’s that you meet in a day. As long as we are too afraid or zoned or distracted by the thousand other things, we are missing the point entirely.

Call your appointed government leaders, letClimate Change Activists Demonstrate On Wall Street them hear from you about fracking, tar sands, mining the seas, the depths, destroying all that is left of wilderness and pristine areas of the world. Tell them to stop being in bed with the Big Oil companies and get a spine and do the Right Thing. Stop supporting any and all corporations that place Greed and Profits as their gods and reason for existence. Tell Starbucks that they ought to be only buying and serving Fair Trade coffee. Tell Walmart that it isn’t right that their family members and top people make more dollars  in one hour than their employees make in twenty years. Tell Shell Oil to get out and stay out of the Arctic forever, and all of their cronies too. Tell it to your friends, your families, to strangers, to co-workers, to the people in the queue in the grocery store. Tell the store managers you want to be served by actual humans, not their robots at the self-serve stations. The list goes on and on and on…….

Dear Readers, I have been silent now for some time, but I have not been sleeping. For the past year and more, since being back in the United States, I have been observing, listening, and watching. I’ve been reading and pondering and thinking and feeling into the current state of our world. It is quite obvious to me, as it no doubt must to be to you, that our world is deteriorating rapidly. What passes for “progress and development” is in actuality a game of passing off cheap technology and a whitewashed, flimsy excuse for the latest, greatest (fill in the blank here) to the People in order to pacify and placate them as the ones (are they human?) behind the curtain, just like the Great Oz himself, run completely amok, destroying, pillaging, warmongering, raping, and taking whatever they can, squashing whoever may be standing in the way, without even a single thought of morality or ethicality or responsibility towards the rest of HUMANITY, NATURE AND THE EARTH ITSELF.


As the bumper sticker states, If you are not outraged, you are NOT paying attention!! Yes, you must keep working on your own soul and spirit, yes of course you have to keep to what is highest, bringing in Love and Light at every opportunity. But to think for a moment that by doing these things alone, without getting very real about the gravity of the situation on this planet, will make the problems magically resolve themselves is foolhardy at best and a death sentence at worst.


What kind of a world are we leaving for our children to inherit?

Naomi Klein’s new book isn’t even on the library shelves yet, and here in Denver there are already fifty people waiting in line to read it. Find it, buy it, or borrow it, then read it, and take it as a rallying cry to raise awareness of the real issues we are facing. There is no time to waste.


Humans and their ghosts

Hello again Dear Readers! It has been a long stretch since I have written a blog post. Incredibly, a couple of new bloggers have recently found their way to my blog, which has given me a little push to write again.

This summer I am working in a place full of ghosts. Although no one can see them, I am completely sure that they hang around and delight in wreaking havoc at every opportunity. You see, the restaurant where I am a cook is located within the Denver Botanic Gardens, and that is built upon the remains of an old and very large graveyard right in the heart of Capitol Hill. Once upon a time in the middle of the 18th century, it was the spot for Denver’s poor and unfortunates to be buried, many with no marker to honor their memories. Then around the turn of the 20th century, one of Denver’s elite city planners had the brilliant plan to use the land to build a lovely park for the upscale residents. In order to do this however, hundreds of graves would have to be dug up and removed. The plan was approved, the graves dug up and the remains removed, and Cheesman Park was created on top of the old burial site. (which really riled up the dead who were perfectly and peacefully resting in their graves.) Then after WWII, during a period of growth and prosperity in the city of Denver, the planners made the botanic gardens adjacent to the park. Hence, more grave digging and removal– and stirring up the ire of those spirits who could no longer sleep in their graves.

Fast forward to summer of 2014. The Botanic Gardens elite has an outdoor bistro built in a strategic location, at the south end of the Monet Reflecting Pool, to coincide with the opening of the Chihuly glass sculpture exhibit that thousands upon thousands of visitors will be experiencing all summer long.


And so The Hive is born. From day One, it is one catastrophe after the next. On a daily basis, things go wrong, stop working mysteriously, accidents happen, things come crashing down frequently from shelves (including the shelves themselves) : we do our best to keep up with the daily multitudes of hungry guests while working under very stressful conditions. The place is an utter paradox– the utter beauty of the flowers and plants all around us, the sometimes claustrophobic presence of a continuous stream of humanity, and then the mischievous and often malevolent ghosts as they gleefully create an obstacle course for the restaurant employees each and every day. Whew!

Of course, nearly everyone to whom I tell my ghosty explanation for all the weirdness and frustrations, don’t say much in return, and probably write me off as the crazy old lady cook in the back of the house.

But I swear I can feel their presence. Ghosts love to be where the living are, and this new restaurant is too good an opportunity for them to pass up a bit of fun at our expense. Damned annoying is what they are, and sometimes dangerous. Several people have gotten hurt in one way or another this summer while working. I even went so far as to suggest to my chef Jesse that we come in one morning with sage to smudge and do a ritual cleansing of the space, nicely but firmly asking all the ghosts to leave us in peace. She smiled and then went on with her day.

By the way, if you have not heard of nor seen the amazing glass sculptures of Dale Chihuly’s studio, I hope you will look him up online. The sculptures are brilliantly colored and gracefully formed, and perfectly compliment the graceful and flowing plant forms and colors of the gardens.

Dear Readers, I apologize for not being much of a blog reader or follower this summer. Since I have been working so much, I am spending the majority of my days living life rather than writing about it. Perhaps when summer is over and the cooler weather comes, I will again take up the blogging. In the meantime, I wish you all well in your various endeavors and locations around the globe. Namaste to all my friends near and far! Leigh


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