I want to be all that I am capable of becoming.
So that I may be a child in the sun – warm, eager, living life.
To be rooted in life, to learn, to desire, to know, to feel, to think, to act.~ Katherine Mansfield (thanks to http://wonderingmindstudio.com/2012/08/28/28-08-12-what-do-i-want/)
I hardly know where to begin this blog tonight. The past week has been so rich with images, feelings, sights and inner workings, I am still in the process of digestion. To put it succinctly, I feel as if all the years of dreaming, planning, working and living have somehow, rather magically, led up to this moment. Perhaps I am feeling swept up in the collective energy of late summer 2012, which is really quite amazing on many levels. Like the extra terrestrial beings out and about in space are surrounding us earthlings with an unseen, yet undeniable net of love and excitement. Do you feel it as well, fellow bloggers?
I have been reading some quite fascinating stuff these days. One article spoke to our sense of Time and how it is now shifting so we no longer are so attached to linear time, as in ‘first this, then this, and lastly that happens…’. now it is becoming more like, when you are high on something strong (this was many years ago for me, dear Readers) and your sense of time becomes totally different than normal. What your watch (or cellphone) says does not make much sense because you are simply in the Here and Now. I remember a time in my life when it strangely seemed like it was “always 2:30 in the morning” and another period, years later, when I kept seeing the numbers 11:11 on my digital clock, at home, in my car, etc. Perhaps this is the beginning of our planet’s leap into actual time warping?
This week I have experienced feeling so present with other people that I have utterly forgotten the time altogether. I have been dreaming vividly of others who are far away from me in physical reality, but feel quite close by in the land of dreams. Even the stars in the night sky have felt closer; more than once this past week I walked out onto the patio in the heart of the darkness to feel their presence nearer to me than ever before. They were certainly communing with me in a mysterious and beautiful way, not audibly, but as a comforting presence.
Another phenomenon: I find I can no longer force myself to do things simply because some part of me (or maybe other people) think I ‘should’ do them. It’s like now my intuition is simply running the show, and the shoulds are fading into the background. Now that is a welcome change of being, isn’t it?
One unfortunate side effect of this time period is, in a word, disorder. I seem to be growing piles of things around me as I sit at this computer desk: papers, books, miscellaneous supplies, unfinished projects, half-unpacked boxes (yes, still!) and other sundry items. But, given my new state of consciousness, I am unconcerned about the piles. When it seems important to clean them up, I will!
The quote by Katherine Mansfield is so beautiful: to desire to be all that one is capable of becoming, and beyond that, to actually strive to do this in such a heartfelt, childlike way seems to me what we are collectively doing now. Think of all the small things you do in a day, dear Readers, seemingly insignificant in themselves, like picking a flower, reading a poem, gazing at a star, having a small conversation, smiling at someone, petting the dog or cat, or combing your hair as you see yourself reflected back in the mirror. Yet more and more I am coming to the realization that each of these small acts is significant in and of itself. Maybe all that zen teaching is finally kicking in, or my DNA levels have changed significantly enough, or I am succumbing to the famous 5th dimension, I don’t really know! But I do know that these small acts are incredibly beautiful and profound right now; the connection with another being, with oneself, with the starry world, with the elemental nature beings. I do believe I am finding the core of Be Here Now, all these many years later. There truly is some sort of multi-dimensional levels of consciousness that I am experiencing, though it is difficult to speak about it or put it into words. So please forgive my ramblings here in this blog post tonight, and my lack of eloquence. When one is sailing into uncharted waters, one doesn’t always have language for the new. Only later on will we be able to draw the maps and chart out where we have travelled. For right now, I just wanted to say hello from the middle of the sea, and say that in this part of the journey, at least, the waters are calm and the ship is on course.
- Learn to Laugh at Yourself (positiveboomer.net)