Time seems to fly by these days now, doesn’t it? More often than not, I experience my life with a kind of detachment, simultaneously observing the life I am leading as well as living it from within this fragile body. Curiouser and curiouser.
Every morning is such a gift, though. I repeat my morning routine and ritual each day, take on whatever sweater and jacket I will wear, open the front door, step outside, lock the door behind me, and walk onto the street. The trees are blooming now, wearing their new spring green so joyously, as the morning birds sing songs from their branches. The air feels soft and clean, the sky huge and still. It is the rarest and loveliest moment of the day, as the sun rises and the world is still undone.
The internal work continues. I doubt if there is anyone alive right now, if they are at all conscious of themselves, who is not dealing with any number of issues, dramas, situations, or other moments where their self, their mind, the part of them that wants, needs, is reluctant, afraid or grasps, is not demanding something, wanting the limelight, grabbing the attention. The small self is acting up just like a three-year-old, and we had better listen. What is up with that, dear Readers?
A website that I’ve recently found, www.jeshua.net/, has some interesting and wise advice concerning this phenomenon. I’ve just read an article by Gerrit Gielen, where he makes the following points:
The soul is the creator of our human personality, we as a human being reflect one aspect of our soul similar to how an Archangel represents one aspect of God. The two most important factors that determine our human reality are: 1. our soul and its intentions for us, and 2. our willingness or unwillingness to work together in harmony with our soul, the source who created us. Our soul has a life plan for us that may contain goals that differ from our ideas about what is desirable in our lives. The basic creative force in our lives is our soul and not our human thoughts. We can work with the creative force of our souls, or we can work against it. Positive thinking aimed at wishes and desires that do not comply with our soul’s plan is not effective. But positive thoughts that are aligned with our soul’s intentions, support the creation process and add a sense of grace and ease to it.
If you do not follow the way of your soul, go against your deeper feelings, and try to control life too much, you lose touch with your soul’s wisdom and you start to feel empty inside. As with most of us, you may become carried away by earthly concerns and focus your attention on matters that you think are very important, but that essentially do not contribute to your inner growth: recognition, possessions, success, money, etcetera. Thus, the angel and you follow a different path and you start to feel unhappy and lonely.
You try to solve this dilemma by working harder, by gathering even more success, money, or power, because the society in which you were raised has taught you that these things are very important. Or you try to solve your loneliness by searching for the ideal partner. You are looking for your inner angel in the outside world. That will fail, because another person can never fulfill the role of your inner angel; the result will always be disappointing. Rather than restoring the connection with your soul, you end up feeling even more alienated from it.
Often, at this point a crisis will occur that challenges you to wake up and realign with your soul: perhaps illness or other adversities such as a divorce or losing your job. It is vital that you now turn inward and actively seek to restore the connection with the angel. If you want to create a new and more fulfilling life, positive thinking alone will not help you. If your positive thoughts aim to only remove the setbacks so you can return to the life you were used to, they will fail, because they go against the soul’s intentions. And if the positive thoughts or mantras are aimed at merely eliminating the disease or misfortune, they will be a way of denying or suppressing the inner darkness that needs to be dealt with up front. Only by facing your deepest feelings and fears, and restoring the conscious connection with your soul, will a true solution arise. Your soul will create that solution for you, if you are willing to face your inner darkness and listen to what your heart truly tells you.
You may wonder why we have desires that go against our soul’s plan, or why the soul has intentions that go against our plans. The reason why this gap exists is that our soul’s primary purpose is inner growth, while we often seek external solutions to our problems. From the soul’s perspective, negative experiences are often there to guide us toward inner growth and liberation, but we generally want to avoid those experiences. We want to rid ourselves of emotional or physical pain, and it is a real challenge to open up to the possibility that this pain has meaning and leads us into deeper self-understanding. Only if we recognize the wisdom of our soul, which often surpasses our human understanding, do our thoughts really gain creative power. Only positive thinking that acknowledges the value and meaning of “negative experiences” is aligned with the divine force that creates the universe.
To know whether your thoughts are aligned with your soul’s purpose, you can also ask: “Is my positive thinking based on fear or on love?” If you have wishes and desires, it is wise to check carefully whether they originate from love or from fear. If it is fear, go inward and face the frightened part in yourself. Face it with kindness and honesty. Ask yourself: “What does this part of me really need at this time?” If you do that, you will often find that the answer refers to something internal, rather than something external: what is needed are qualities such as self-esteem, trust, the ability to set boundaries, compassion, or a sense of humor. You are often able to give yourself what you need by developing these qualities in your everyday life. In this way, you will heal the fearful part of you and your wishes and desires may change because of that. They will be based on love and genuine self understanding rather than fear. Healing inner darkness is a deeply creative feat. Facing fear and surrounding it with the energy of love is more powerful than any affirmation you can think of! The result is that you become closely connected with your soul. Your soul light begins to shine through you and it is this light that is creative. It will create an outer reality (work, relationships) that provides inner growth, joy, and happiness.
You can apply positive thinking and affirmations as much as you want, but you will still grow old. Your thoughts are powerless against the natural aging process. But now look at this issue from the perspective of the soul. Is the soul interested in keeping us young? From the soul’s perspective, we are timeless, only our bodies are aging. To connect with your soul’s viewpoint, look in the mirror: see how your face is getting older, while sensing at the same time that there is something inside you, behind your eyes, that does not change. This is who you really are. While you, the human being, would perhaps want to stay forever in this body, your soul does not. The soul knows that there are infinitely more worlds and dimensions to be experienced and explored. The soul looks beyond what our human eyes can see and knows: the universe is waiting for us. – Gerrit Gielen, http://www.jeshua.net/
Reading Gerrit’s words today has given me strength and been an excellent reminder that what is happening in my life, in all of our lives, truly has meaning and purpose– the soul’s purpose which is the reason for me being in this human body in the first place. So much has happened in my life that I simply have no good answer for the question, Why? It is a question that I ask myself often, usually without coming up with a very good answer. But when I take it to this higher level, and am able to drop the small me’s ‘but why?” through my tears and heartache, I realize the power, wisdom and strength of surrendering to my soul’s purpose. Aligning with your soul is no easy task, is it? Your angel, as Gerrit calls it, will ask you to do things and go places you probably will not want to do nor go. Ain’t gonna do it, no way, your small self protests. And yet. In the end, if you listen to your soul, your angel, or the Higher You, he or she will win out. And you will grow from it, and learn the lesson you need.
There are so many days when I take myself in hand, make myself do the thing I do not wish to do. And I do it because I am committed to my Soul’s growth and I love Her. Once I asked an old teacher of mine about God. He replied, “You have to know what god you are praying to, as there are many in the hierarchy of Heaven.” At the time I did not understand what he meant. Now, many years and miles later, I think I understand more. Our lives and the human-spiritual world connection are complex systems with vastly greater workings than we can possibly understand in these human bodies. The times we are living in are a whirlpool of constant change. There are huge forces at work upon all of us and the planet in every moment far vaster than we know. But we feel it in so many ways, each day and night. What do you think you are doing when you lay down and sleep at night? You are very busy, dear Readers. We are off in who knows how many dimensions, working with angels, guides, councils, other humans, other life forms throughout our sleeping hours. No wonder we often awaken and feel so very tired!! Our lives are a constantly shifting, moving roller coaster ride. We all signed up to be a part of this great shift that is happening to us long before we incarnated into these peculiar human bodies during the end of the 20th and beginning of the 21st centuries C.E.,or however you wish to describe our time in history. Are you tired? Do you remember that you wanted to be here and be a part of all that is happening on Earth now? Hard to believe sometimes, I know. But we did, we all wanted this. Because without us, the Great Shift won’t happen, and our world will continue to degrade and eventually die.
By each and every one of us being here, saying Yes! to life, to love, to committing to each other and ourselves that We are the Change, we stand up to fear, to terror, to pain and misery, greed and hatred and all the by-products of separation, and the world changes. It IS CHANGING, for the better in thousands of ways. We must not lose our perspective to this 3D matrix that is so cleverly spun around us, we must not let it overwhelm us. This is BIG WORK, dear Readers! There is nothing more important nor worthwhile in all the universes. We have to soldier on, whether we want to or not. The future of Gaia and all of humanity depends on the work we are doing now, today and every day for the rest of our lives. Our souls want this, we want it for each other and our great great great grandchildren, for all of the animals and nature that we love on this planet. Keep going!! Chin up. Rest as and when you can, love yourself very gently, always, and be in gratitude to your Self for all that you do. When the three-year-old is screaming and having his fit, take him into your loving arms and soothe him. See yourself in this way, and care for her as you would your precious child, for that is in reality what You Are.
Thank you for being here with me, for all the good you are and all that you do to help. I love you all.